Do I not understand this list? Because the scariest vagina for me is the one with the cross sticking out of it in The Exorcist.

Scariest movie vagina....Ethan Hawke?

oH SHIT! Carol ann's room was representative of a vadge!? The things you learn on Jez.

What about Sybil? There was some craziness going on with that vaj too.

Honorable mention: the giant mother zombie that literally takes her son back into her womb in Peter Jackson's "Dead Alive."

So you've got 4 mv's, is there a fifth? I'm stumped--!

@Cam/ron: Have yet to see it (Peter's)

Ok, the heterosexism is rampant, not everything is a vagina, you know. For example, the Sarlacc Pit is clearly a fanged asshole, just look at the shape!

Yeah, that's why I'm not as psyched to see Teeth as everybody else is: Cool, female empowerment story, or Eww, vaginas are scary bullshit?

I can't believe they didn't mention the spider lady from Demon City Shinjuku!

Maybe I'm just a dirty fucking whore (or/also horny), but when I read cunning list I actually saw cunnilingus.

Or saw, read. Or sawred. Whatevs.

@Freedumb: That's what I was going to say... why is everything that resembles some sort of hole supposed to represent a vadge?

@skinnybonejones: Obviously you are not a cunning linguist, though by your smiling you seem to say so.

"God Told Me To" should be on this list. I don't think I've ever been so freaked out in my life.

It IS scary down there, I've always thought so. I am glad men are brave enough to venture in. How do they ever muster the courage to tackle it that first time? Ew...

OMG I just saw this movie last night and it was FUCKING AWESOME. It was like Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossed with Freeway 2 (you know, the sequel that was so much better than the original because it was set in prison and had prison bulemia orgy scenes which you think I'm making up but I'M NOT). Anyway, Teeth is the ultimate Jez movie and I highly recommend it! Penis chomping is the best.

I must be the only person who saw Grim Prairie Tales - the western horror flick featuring a girl who eats men alive with her vaj. After which she appears pregnant until she's finished digesting him. Yummers!

@PantyWaist: WTF? I hope you're kidding.

@Annalee Newitz: Oh sweet. I need to catch it this weekend then. And then I can go to Amoeba afterwards. Sweet. If only I had money.

@Annalee Newitz: I'm pissed off and the whole world OWES me!

For some reason I find myself wanting Cleolinda Jones to do a Movies in 15 Minutes write up of this movie... I can't help but think it would be pure and unadulterated gold.

I saw it! It was...GOOD. But my gay (gender studies) bestie and I had the same reaction. We thought it was a little boring, a little straightforward. I wish it had been MORE campy and lively. As for the severed-penis thing, I think you have to either really build it up and have one climactic de-weening, or else really GO for it and chop off like, fifty. But I dunno. We're sick fucks with thick skins.

Also, may I chime in with Alien? They call the ship "mother", say stuff like, "Umbilicus clear!" when the ship is detaching, intra-uterine imagery, dadada. Yep, THAT paper got an A-minus.

@aspiringexpatriate: Are you in SF?
@Annalee Newitz: I haven't seen Freeway 2, because nothing beats Reese telling Kiefer, "look who got beat with the ugly stick, Bob" but now, I just may rent it. And so want to see Teeth.

@Annalee Newitz: Freeway 2 scarred me for life. The orgy of projectile vomiting of which you speak put me on an involuntary diet for days. And don't get me started on Vincent Gallo's character. People: If you liked Freeway, don't assume you'll like the sequel. For your own safety and sanity. F'real.

nary a mention of One Night in Paris?

@AbbyNormal: Los Angeles's Amoeba, it's down the block a bit from Sunset 5, the only place in LA where Teeth is playing.

@aspiringexpatriate: Oh, sorry. There's an Amoeba in SF, natch, so I of course think that is the ONLY Amoeba, because the world revolves around me. Hee.
@yidvicious: Gallo is in Freeway 2? Ew, okay, good to know. I can't wash clean the stain of Brown Bunny from my pysche.

Have you seen the supreme monster/alien in "Starship Troopers"? If that's not vaginal, than I simply don't know what is.

i'm chilly

they're puttin' on a stage production of lysistrata here in new york if anyone's interested.

I saw it over the weekend as kind of a bookend with 27 Dresses and its flaw is also its virtue: it sticks to the rules of a B-horror movie and almost never winks at the camera. Either you "get" that it's a joke or you don't. It's only when you see an over-the-top funny scene like the gyno visit that you see what it could have, should have been like. But it's not bad.

There's a Freeway II! My people thank you for this info.

Haha. Cunning list. Nice, Dodai.

Anybody remember Liquid Sky? "I've got the cunt that kills!"

@doxybyproxy: Watch out for those invisible aliens.

Every time this movie is mentioned I think about the whole NOM NOM NOM thing in an all new way.

@doxybyproxy: Yes! Christ I loved that movie.

One thing that did bug me about Teeth, @Oryx, was exactly what you mention. It was a satire that picked a very easy target. Red states bad! All men rapists! That sort of thing. But I saw it with somebody who used to be one of those "promise to stay a virgin" people and he said it felt very emotionally real. Which I thought too, even though I was never a virgin.

Also, I thought the penis chopping was satisfyingly gross, blood-squirtingly great, and did involve various animals eating the severed organs. Points for that.

@Annalee Newitz: ...and at one point being eaten by a crab.

But of course it was heavy handed, it was a horror movie, but there still was the conceit that if you pleased the "guardian of the cave" you wouldn't get munched. The key to a man's safety was good foreplay.

Now I'm thinking of that great Saturday Night Live sketch with Chris Everett where the tribe elders talked in metaphor about sex and when Chris Everett said, "Think of a little man in a boat..."

I can't believe The Wall didn't get a mention. Hello, Giant-Ambulatory-Toothed-Vagina-Judge throwing the protagonist in jail??

Is anyone else kind of put off by the thought of a vag with teeth? I mean, what about sexual pleasure for the girl?

@tulipsaki:
I just saw Teeth, and apparently, the teeth can be "conquered", i.e., if a dude is good with a vibrator, the vag is soothed, and does not bite!

Until later, anyway.

Interestingly, I saw the movie with a male friend who didn't realize that the gynecologist totally violates the girl, until I explained that sticking all 4 fingers up there at once is not standard medical procedure. Yowch.

How can the monster from Starship Troopers not be on here?!

@hamburgerhotdog: Yeah, the giant clit-beast!

Predator.

I hate horror movies, but I am probably going to see this one--just because of how much those Captivity-type torture porn flicks piss me off.
Wonder if/when there will be complaints about graphic violence against mens.

@CyberSkull: Sorry, I meant Wicked City.