Here's a photo from yesterday's bountiful Shopping Spree of Sinai, during which Palestinians who've been going without food and fuel and motorcycles since the Israelis blockaded them seven months ago in response to a bunch of rocket attacks, finally said, hey look, here's another border wall with a country that isn't quite so aggro about things, let's see what happens if we tear that one down instead. And, well, what happened was very good for anyone in the business of changing shekels into Egyptian pounds. Meanwhile on the home front, the endless campaign of 2008 continued and from two laptop computers in separate East Coast cities of America, Megan and I wondered pointlessly what would happen if America let all the Mexicans kick down our border walls and come shopping, so long as they didn't bring their guns...
MOE: So a wall fell in the Middle East and after seven months of isolation the starving prisoners of Gaza came streaming joyously out to feast on chocolate and coke and television sets. Here's a question: who actually busted the wall in the first place? And the other question: now what?
MEGAN: I thought tearing down walls to enjoy the fruits of capitalism was so 1990, but it's back!
MOE: Oh man and some Egyptian money changers are psYYched: "As the Egyptian money changers scrambled through the gate in the wire fence on their side of the border, their pockets stuffed with bank notes, the exchange rate in the micro-market of northern Sinai rose from seven Israeli agorot to one shekel for an Egyptian pound"
MEGAN: Part of me really, really wants us to take the the hint when it comes to the stupid Mexican wall, but I know we're not that smart.
Actually, on the news the other night, they showed this enormous group of women pushing back the Egyptian troops at the border. It was really cool. Like, the Palestinian women were just like, fuck it, we want some damn food and medicine, and they basically overran the troops. It was kind of awesome.
MOE: Hahahaha if only all the Mexicans wanted was to come over and BUY STUFF?
As opposed to coming over and making our stuff cheaper.
MEGAN: Well, in El Paso/Juarez, they totally do come over and buy stuff. One of my classmates from grad school was from there and there's a ton of traffic to come here and shop.
MOE: Here's what I don't get: if you had family in Egypt, like many of these people seem to, wouldn't you, like, just say fuck it I'm staying?
I guess the Palestinians are used to THAT cycle.
They're sort of like the Jews, in that way...
MEGAN: I think that's the fundamental reason that immigration is a good thing, actually. It takes a lot of momentum and courage and entrepreneurship to leave almost everything you own and your family and move to another country.
Like, it cracks me up that some people who may have never left the town/village/area they grew up in think that every single person in Latin America would move here because life is better.
Because, really, to a degree, we get the exact people we should want, and everyone else stays home.
MOE: That's a good point. It cracks ME up that people who may have never left the town/village/whatever they grew up in think they actually deserve to be here versus someone who knows what real hardship is like etc. etc. Because, you know, a lot of people have never had the luxury of making the choice to stay whereever the fuck they are. Communist countries were constantly relocating people to break up old loyalties and allegiances and families etc. No one is as provincial as we are in a lot of ways. If anything is keeping them in their crappy standards of living, it's probably a difference in values — the willingness to endure some sort of poverty because other aspects of life are richer. But I dunno, now I'm thinking too hard. Good thing I'm no longer nauseus
9:23 AM Anyway we're sort of losing the point, which is that this is making Israel look really bad and the Israelis are pissed.
MEGAN: Well, you know, if they hadn't decided to blockade Gaza to essentially try to starve out Hamas they might not look so bad. But, really, much of the world hasn't cared what Israel does except insofar as the Arab League likes to score political points by pushing these resolutions.
It was the Egyptian army trying to keep them in, after all.
MOE: Right, and then the militants destroyed the wall? and then the Egyptians were like, "come in, as long as you leave your guns at home." And I guess they complied because it was pretty peaceful.
MEGAN: Well, it was that or shoot them all in front of all the cameras that showed up, so, yay Egypt for making a smart decision even if it probably wasn't esactly motivated by humanitarianism.
MOE: And yay for the Palestinians getting their cement and fuel and coca cola!
MEGAN: I could use a Diet Coke myself.
MOE: Now should we talk about...
The Administration's 935 Separate Falsehoods That Led Us Into An Unending Trillion Dollar Quagmire?
MEGAN: I'll just say: no one appears to hate Romney because they know him, just because he's got money and ran commercials? Seems kind of dickish to me on everyone's part.
MOE: I dunno, I hate Romney, and it's not because he's clogging up my cable with his campaign messages. But that just reminded me, you know along the "candidates who inspire irrational hate" line of things...
It's our boy Robert Morrow!!!
I almost miss his crazy ass emails!
MOE: He of the HILLARY IS A RACIST CLASSIST LESBIAN WHO IS HAVING LESBIAN SEX WITH FELLOW LESBIAN MUSLIM LESBIAN HUMA ABEDIN.
MEGAN: Also, she fucked Vince Foster and a bunch of other dudes and probs killed them because she is a literal man-eater.
MOE: BUT SHE GETS NO ENJOYMENT. BECAUSE SHE IS A LESBIAN. A COLD, CALCULATING LESBIAN WHO FUCKS MEN FOR SPORT AND TURNS THEM INTO HER SLAVE BOYS AND WHEN THEY MISBEHAVE SHE CHAINS THEM TO HER RADIATOR AND PUMPS TOOTHPASTE UP THEIR ASSES AND/OR MAKES THEM FAKE THEIR OWN SUICIDES...
Sorry, that was some phone sex shit right there actually.
I was never good at "domination" calls.
And Robert Morrow is not that clever.
But it did just occur to me that, if Hillary were anything like the woman Robert Morrow seems to think she is,
She would be a superhero.
She would never lose ever.
She would be awesome.
MEGAN: Hey, he's a Paultard. Figures.
If she was a super hero, would she get to have a cape?
MOE: Yeah she would be more jumpsuit than pantsuit I think.
Anyway, I unfortch think I have to wrap up and put this shizz online. But Robert Morrow ...some day we will go hang out with him. He's based in Austin; we could drop in on Linklater!