Brown Hair: It's The New Trend Sweeping The Nation, Reports Vogue!

"Marina Rust talks to the pros about the trend sweeping the country!" tantalizes the subhead of a story in the February Vogue. And just what is this trend? Brown hair. See, Agyness Deyn, unimpeachable trend setter and timeless icon of style that she is, dyed her hair brown. And Agyness Deyn has always been an iconic blonde, blonde has been her SIGNATURE, for the entire eight or nine months that we've known who she is! So clearly, as Rust states in the first sentence of her story about the trend SWEEPING THE COUNTRY, a "seismic shift" is underway, and over the next three pages she struggles to make sense of this, to contextualize this dramatic change, using big words and cultural touchstones. "It's money. High-end society. Gossip Girl," a hairstylist named Laurie Foley tells Rust. But wait, isn't the empathetic, relatable, heroine-type girl from Gossip Girl blonde? WHATEVS. Here's another theory from another stylist: "Clients have been asking for it lately...for financial reasons. Extending the amount of time between visits." Oh, so brown is a sign of the a sign of a coming recession! Memo to Bernanke! Uh, but no.

Robinson rightly ignores my market theorems. "Some clients go dark for profesional reasons." She explains that while most of her lighter-haired Hollywood clients who go dark go blonde again, "it's women in other professions who go dark and stay dark. Psychiatrists, lawyers, peope in finance."

The trust thing.

"Exactly." (Blair Waldorf notqithstanding.) "After going dark, almosteveryone says how much shinier their hair is."

Um, hold up! Just me, or do "trust" and "shiny hair" have nothing to do with one another?

And the thesis only comes further unglued after that! (It doesn't help the argument that Marina Rust, the author, has always, regardless of fads, been brunette.) There's talk of hemlines and products and blah blah blah Barbie. And then!

A follow-up conversation with Foley. Gently, she breaks the news. "Agyness, you know? She's blonde again."
The end.

And Kate Bosworth is on the cover.

Good on them for timing that to the recession, though!