Jennifer Love Hewitt, whose womanly allure has been well chronicled, is no slouch in the dating department. She's been linked to hotties near and far, including talk show hosts Craig Ferguson [Yum. -Ed.], and Carson Daly, teen heartthrobs Joey Lawrence and Wilmer Valderrama, rising stars Patrick Wilson and Kip Pardue, singers John Mayer and LFO's Rich Cronin, and last, but certainly not least, Ross McCall (her now-fiance). So it's no surprise that Jennifer was asked to contribute to Esquire's regular recurring feature "Ten Things You Don't Know About Women," in which well-known ladies offer up advice on how to deal with the fairer sex. Looking at Jennifer's column, we wondered: Which one of the men mentioned above inspired her advice or earned her ire? Our guesses, after the jump.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #1: "PMS is not a lame excuse to be able to yell at you. It's a great excuse."
Who It's About: John Mayer. Wouldn't you want an excuse to yell at him, too?
Thing You Don't Know About Women #2: "We really can pump our own gas. It's just that we've got this fantasy of you as a '30s-era full-service station attendant. You'd look so cute in the hat."
Who It's About: Patrick Wilson. He would look cute in any hat. Or without any hat. Or without any clothes...
Thing You Don't Know About Women #3: "We're not complimented when you call your ex a slut. She dated you, too. So what are we?"
Who It's About: Carson Daly. He was engaged to Tara Reid. Nuff said!
Thing You Don't Know About Women #4: "We're smart enough to know that smell is always the dog."
Who It's About: Craig Ferguson. He looks gassy.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #5: "Yes, we can dish it out."
Who It's About: Wilmer Valderrama. He was probably skeezing on other starlets all the time (see Lohan, Lindsay; Moore, Mandy) and deserved a stern talking to.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #6: "No, we can't take it."
Who It's About: Wilmer again. Bet he has a sass mouth.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #7: "We want to raise children. We just don't want you to be one of them."
Who It's About: LFO's Rich Cronin, solely because he was behind the lyrics: "New Kids On The Block, had a bunch of hits/ Chinese food makes me sick." Those had to be written by someone with the mentality of a seven year old.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #8: Women are meant to talk and men to listen. We don't want to be fixed; we want to be heard.
Who It's About: Kip Pardue. The insouciant smirk always plastered to his face makes us think he wouldn't be the best listener.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #9: "When we ask if you've had any work done, it's because we want to know what our kids will really look like."
Who It's About: Carson Daly. Have you seen his face recently? He looks like an entirely different person.
Thing You Don't Know About Women #10: "When we ask you how we look, it's okay to lie; when we ask you how she looks, you better lie."
Who It's About: Ross McCall. This is advice he should keep with him for the future.
Jennifer Love Hewitt: 10 Things You Don't Know About Women [Esquire]
Jennifer Love Hewitt [Who's Dated Who]