It's nowhere near spring in most of the country, but Bloomingdale's doesn't care! They're offering white pants, strapless dresses and metallic sandals already. You know those people who wear shorts and flip-flops on the first warm day of the year, while you've still got a sweater on? A friend calls those fools "season pushers." This entire catalog is a season pusher! Behold cheerful warm-weather looks you're probably not ready for, after the jump.
"Spring arrives," begins the copy. And yet the calendar claims we actually have two more months. Well, here's a pretty dress with which to prepare.
(Kay Unger, $280)
As a fan of animal print it pains me to admit that this coat hurts my eyes.
(Michael Michael Kors, $185)
Gorgeous top! Perhaps season-pushing isn't all bad.
(Karen Kane, $138)
Except this isn't season-pushing, this is straight-up dreaming. Is anyone in the northern hemisphere prepared to bare shoulders right now? This isn't even spring-appropriate, this is a summer dress.
(Sutton Studio, $199)
Ow. Look, even the model's eyes hurt from viewing this abysmal ensemble. If this is a preview of spring, let's hope the groundhog never comes out.
(Eva Varro tunic, $159; pants, $129)
Oooh, love the sandals! The sunglasses are nicely oversized although they're by dreadful Juicy Couture. And the rain jacket is super cute as far as rain jackets go. OMG the pushing has been successful. Call me a pushover.
(Juicy Couture sunglasses, $135; Kors Michael Kors "Chic" sandal, $215; Aqua cropped waterproof jacket, $138)
Good heavens. If this sweater makes a professional model look thick-waisted and large hipped, what will it do to a mere mortal? Going back into hibernation now, kthxbai.
(Sutton Studio sweater coat, $169)
Earlier: J. Jill Vs. J. Crew: It's A Fashion Showcase Showdown
Frederick's Of Hollywood: Not As Slutty As You Might Think! (But Still Pretty Slutty)
Pottery Barn, Anthropologie & West Elm: Bedding Porn For Sleepyheads