Anna Wintour is P.O.'d at Hillary Clinton! Wait, who's Anna Wintour? Oh right, she's the editor of Vogue, a magazine about rich people, plastic surgery, richer people, Botox, exotic vacations, anti-aging creams, preserving the weird tribal instincts causing some women to believe investing preposterous sums of money in accessories whose manufacture necessitates the sadistic slaughter of incomprehensibly huge numbers of animals, nannies, $10,000 shoes, advancing the cause of colonialism, dermatology and how you can never be too rich or too thin to have a late-term abortion. Anyway Anna Wintour decided to relax her rigorous 118-pound weight limit to allow Hillary Clinton to pose for the cover, and all was set when Hillary backed out at the last minute and stood up writer Julia Reed. (Insert foreign expression denoting "As if!") So in her February issue Anna decided to snipe back, offering Hillary some attractive fashions to consider anyway, and this little musing on Hillary's lack of courage.
"Imagine my amazement, then, when I learned that Hillary Clinton, our only female presidential hopeful, had decided to steer clear of our pages at this point in her campaign for fear of looking too feminine.And then she really gets going!
The notion that a contemporary woman must look mannish in order to be taken seriously as a seeker of power is frankly dismaying. How has our country come to this?... This is America, not Saudi Arabia."Dear Anna: did it ever occur to you that maybe she was just being nice with the "feminine" shit? That she was giving your dumb magazine a "pass"; a "My Bad." That you could have just quietly chalked it all up to "Hillary is not comfortable with her sexuality blah blah what else is new" and called it a day?
Did it ever occur to you your magazine is really popular in Saudi Arabia? And that actually, its relentless celebration of mindless consumerism, status consciousness and insecurities rooted in the most mind-numbingly superficial things is actually maybe even better-suited to a dry, desolate place ruled by a despotic oligarchy and swimming in excess capital that without freedom of thought seems to have a dearth of purpose?
Yeah, well actually, me either, until right now. I smell a business opportunity for you, Anna! Don't bother thanking me. But hey, leave Hillary alone. Non-"feminine" female voters such as myself totally dig this shit.