Ugh, I hate these. Trashy.

I've seen trucks with METAL balls swinging in the back. It makes me want to ram my Civic right into those assholes.

Yeah, not too child friendly, I find...

Can they outlaw those fake bullet holes too? I hate those.

YES!!!!! JUSTICE IN OUR TIME!!!!! SUCK ON THIS, YOU REDNECK FUCKWITS! AHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!
Srsly, I've nearly casued accidents from giving Truck Nutters the Bitchface of Death for having these sick things on their trailer hitches.

Um, there goes my breakfast.
@meaghan2k: I'm so with you on that!

I was wondering when they would do something about those.

He claims the big balls are a safety issue, because drivers can get distracted.

Can you imagine someone being hypnotized by a set? Hahahaha! :-)

I'm confused. Men attach prosthetic genitalia to their vehicles? What on earth for? To maybe proclaim that it's a 'male' car? I know the straights have this odd connection with their vehicles, but this is just unnatural.
Perhaps we should cross-post this on Jalopnik and get some feedback?

I don't understand men's obsession with their own genitalia anyways. I have no desire to put boob stickers on my headlights.

@DorothyZbornak: Or Calvin peeing on rival automakers logos? Or Calvin praying? Or huge Old English letters that say "Velasquez" across the back windshield? Or car mods of pretty much any kind?
I'm a fascist.

They don't have any in their pants, so they hang them on their trucks.

Those things are indeed idiotic, but: [achewood.com]

But if they outlaw these, nobody will be immediately spot the trashiest driver on the road. Which would be a huge problem for society...

@BiscuitDoughJones: Or those fake "baseball/golfball through the windshield" thingys.

Whaaaa? Is this seriously such a big deal that it needs to be outlawed? It's just immature and stupid. Why not let stupid, immature people continue to identify themselves as such by putting giveaways on their cars?

Personally I would rather anti-choice bumperstickers be outlawed, I know I'm a serious hazard when I'm craning my neck to read whatever horrible thing is printed on them, and the ensuing rage is no joke.

He's gonna filibust some balls and ain't no one stoppin' him.

@emily.jayne: sorry EJ, to repeat your point. I concur.

The thing I am thinking as I am riding behind some nitwit shithead with these on his hitch is this....

"Exactly what, Sir, are you hoping this says about you?"

Because it sure as hell isn't "I am a great guy with a terrific sense of humor and a huge IQ that you would do well to consider a great catch."

And if you're hoping it says," I am frat boy with a frat boy sense of humor and all I want to do is show you how big my dick is"....WHY????

I guess there are....women out there who might find this amusing and attractive...MAYBE...but I am not one of them...and I don't want them in my face...YOU ASSHATS.

Go Virgina...Please pass the word asap to the legislature here in KY...thanks.

Hmm...out here they don't hang replicas of human balls but actual steer balls, which for some reason seems far more acceptable to me.

@Reluctant Financier: Ooooo you might want to think twice about the cross-post. Last time the results were not so good.

@LadySkittlehattington: or the team/US flags on the windows and the gigantic magnets on the sides of cars. Ugh.

How small does your dick have to be to put plastic balls on your truck?

Or is it simply some weird Red State gay pick up thing?

The first time I saw trucknuts (how wrong does THAT sound?) was while driving through Brooklyn of all places, and I was all, "Honey, why does that truck have dangling testicles? And who's the moron driving it?"

@hushnowcharlotte: Haha that's me, too. I try to get as close to the car as possible so I can read them. I've even switched lanes to give myself a better angle when I've suspected a sticker was anti-choice. I am just too fascinated.

@amy1971: We should just let them leave them on their trucks. It is a convenient marker of assholes to be avoided.

Wait, you guys really support a law against this? Come on. This is a waste of the legistlative branch.

I wonder if it's awkward for men to purchase these. How funny would it be to see some tough redneck guy handling a pair of nuts at the AutoZone.

In Boston, there were two radio dj's that proclaimed Wednesday to be Whip It Out Wednesday. People would write WOW on the windows of their cars so girls would flash them and they would return the favor. It was outlawed, but I have a feeling they would be all over this sort of thing. It's only a matter of time...

i fucking despise those things.Theyre all over the place in Orlando- I saw one on some loser's truck the other day and it looked like he made it himself. Super stupid, especially when they're blue.

There's a truck that parks in my building's parking ramp that has these. We always wonder whose it is. So crude. So wrong. And it pretty much confirms the whole "car as an extension of the penis" thing.

@BiscuitDoughJones: Or any reference to Dale, Dale Jr. or any other NASCAR driver.

In fact, maybe if we just took away rednecks' licenses, we wouldn't have a problem.

OMG, I remember the first time I saw bumper balls, ugggg. My two sons thought they were so funny, but these are the two that laughed so hard the first time they saw a Dicks Sporting Goods store!

@athertonmerriweather: *that* makes me want to crawl back into bed.

@heylady: oh I agree with you there - like VA has resolved all other problems in the state. please.

@mcemmie: Chances are, if they're planning to hang them from the trucks, they're not too shy about buying them. They're probably dicks about it making all kinds of nonsensical jokes.

@BiscuitDoughJones: I am with you on the Calvin pissing on shit thing. THAT IS NOT WHAT CALVIN STANDS FOR. It's a disgrace to have him doing that. Next thing you know, furries are going to start dressing up like Hobbes.

I'm also anti-the following:

-Any ribbon of any fucking kind on a car.
-Any environmental sticker on a car. Guess what? You driving that thing ain't helping.
-Anti-choice stickers
-Jesus Love You stickers
-Mean People Suck stickers
-BABY ON BOARD OH I HATE THOSE
-Stickers endorsing any political candidate
-W.O.W stickers.

@LadyNo: The larger the truck nuts, the smaller the driver's cock.

@DorothyZbornak: my school was nicknamed "Rednexington." We had a truck row. The entire state of SC would cease to function if you took away all rednecks' licenses.

@athertonmerriweather: ugh. I remember that far too well. Seriously though, I would hope our government (at all levels) had more important things to worry about than outlawing something really gross and silly.

@mcemmie: Good point. They probably keep them behind the counter to deter adolescent shoplifters, don't you think?

"Hey, Hal. Toss me down one of them truck nuts. Naw, not the metal ones, the pink rubber nuts. I want 'em to like like mine."

And then the man proceeds with his plastic nuts to the grocery store next door, where he refuses to buy his wife a box of tampons.

@meaghan2k: *Jesus Loves You

LOOK AT BANNER, MICHAEL

Thankfully truck testes are not in style here. I'm more concerned that drivers in Brooklyn don't utilize their turn signals.

@athertonmerriweather: In NY too. I think it was the Opie and Anthony show that was all about the WOW. I have no idea if they are even around anymore, however. Regardless, "Ewwwwwwwwww!!!."

If men had anything to do with it, yeah, I do think they'd have no problem with us driving around with labia on our cars. Of course, accident occurrences may rise, but still...

@leMaldeTete: (proofreading is for the nutless)

@meaghan2k: The one thing I hate more than everything mentioned here is that black square sticker with the big white W that says "W The President." I don't know why that one more than the others pisses me off, but I want to literally strangle anyone who has that on their car.

@LadySkittlehattington: Yes, please can we outlaw the fake bullets, baseballs, etc. through the window. Also the "my child is an honor student at _______ elementary," and those stupid ones you buy at truck stops that say things like "don't tailgate me or I'll flick a booger on your windshield." Oh, and ALL "W. The President" stickers.

Ok, really I'm a first amendment absolutist, so I would support no such ban. But all of the above irritate me.

@meaghan2k: I have an autism awareness ribbon magnet on my car, and a sticker that says "Live Aloha." The only other car accoutrement I find amusing are the bumper stickers that say "In case of the rapture, can I have your car?" Only because 98.353% of the people 'round where I grew up have the "In case of rapture, this car will be driverless" stickers.

Some state legislator in western Maryland already tried to have them banned in Maryland. It didn't get far and his bill was pretty much laughed out of the statehouse. I think the things are stupid and tacky, but not worth legislation. Now, giant wings and chrome, on the other hand...

I think the bottom line is that people shouldn't be displaying things on their cars that might serve as a dangerous distraction for another driver.

@meaghan2k: As have I. They fill me with sorrow.
@DorothyZbornak: The only place I've ever seen the fake bullet hole decals was in the parking lot of a very affluant mall, no doubt placed there by some 16-year-old white boy who thinks they make him look "thug." Man, those decals SURE made me believe he MUST have been shot at whilst driving daddy's car out of his gated subdivision and right into the parking lot of a mall containing a Williams - Sonoma and Restoration Hardware.

I'm actually offended by seeing these on a van I have to walk by every day, and I hate them for making me feel like a conservative head case. Cover the statue of justice with a drape, indeed.

@DorothyZbornak: Jinx.

@leMaldeTete: HAAA! So true!

Reminds me of something I've seen on LJ - an icon with a little stick figure that says Penises: they're about this big. Now, as a culture, can we please move on?

@Sev: I know I have often had to dodge bullets coming out of the Pottery Barn.