[The following is not necessarily safe for work...or eyeballs (it's epic, but well worth it). -Ed.]
I got back from Vegas on Sunday in the middle of the night. Since my last Vegas diary, I'd gone to the Fleshbot/Vivid Alt party, inhaled some substances, almost got married, played penny slots till dawn, went back to the Expo, attended the AVN Awards, got in a scuffle outside a fetish after-party, met two former Rock of Love contestants, got very drunk on red wine alone at Circle Bar in the Venetian, made out again at Grand Lux Cafe (apparently I love to love in that place), severely bruised my hips on the marble counter of my hotel room bathroom while getting pounded from behind, and then managed to catch my flight back home the next day, even though I was way late leaving for the airport. I think in those few days, I managed to sleep maybe five hours. Monday was the first time in days that I'd been stationary for an extended period of time, and really, it felt like I'd been hit by a car...and then had an episiotomy.