Jezebel
What are morals? And why does generation after generation insist on infusing certain behaviors, whether they be eating pork or eating meat, cloning cows or cloning zygotes, driving pickups or buying Barbies at Wal-Mart, drinking or smoking, with the radioactive taint that is MORALITY? Why do the universal biological instincts we call "conscience" impel toddlers to offer you their drool-stained teddy bears when they see you cry, and yet adults, in the name of the universal moral order their consciences supposedly constructed, see fit to publicly flog other adults who allow said children to name their teddy bears "Mohammed"? What was up with Will Smith telling that newspaper he didn't think Hitler thought of himself as a terrible guy? And why the fuck are people so quick to misinterpret every goddamn thing someone says, as if they've been standing in the shadows for years, waiting for that deep-rooted innermost hatefulness to reveal itself? Why does righteousness so easily slide into immorality? And why does every experiment testing the universality of "morals" involve runaway tolleys? Is what we call "morality" just another example of of evolutionary biology, which is the new "socialization"? Can we blame Darwin for Bratz dolls, AND our moral opposition to the existence of Bratz dolls in our Wal-Mart stores?
Is it all just the selfish pursuit of recycling our genes and keeping the Human Race from going extinct? Readers, I pondered all this and the ethics of throwing a fat man in front of a trolley to save five thin workers — most people wouldn't do it, apparently for biologically-ingrained moral reasons —over the weekend, when I ventured deep into the 90 zillion word philosophical abyss that was the cover story of the New York Times Magazine. I did it so you wouldn't have to, and I probably should have just gotten drunk because all I got for ya:
Far from debunking morality, then, the science of the moral sense can advance it, by allowing us to see through the illusions that evolution and culture have saddled us with and to focus on goals we can share and defend. As Anton Chekhov wrote, "Man will become better when you show him what he is like."So essentially, the conclusion is that thinking about morality all the time will give you better morals. Thanks guys! I already suffered through four years of Catholic school. Would it have killed you to incorporate Angelina Jolie into this story somehow?
The Moral Instinct [NY Times]
Comments
I know I'm a good person because I'm better than everyone else.
Ah, but what is better? And what are morals? And what is thinking? And what is a question?
God, I love Audrey Hepburn.
I'm basically the worst kind of person there is. I'd throw a fat man in front of a trolley just because I think it'd be kind of funny.
That picture is one of the reasons I loved Audrey so much... such a great soul. All she wanted to do was help people.
I was too distracted by the great picture choice to read the post though.
Everytime I see an ugly baby, and then tell my friend, "OMG, that baby is ugly!" I'm reminded of what a horrible person I am. Good people think all babies are cute. Bless them.
morals voters know all about it
My morals sometimes differ from my ethics.
Morality's an evolutionary adaptation. Or exaptation, depending on how you look at it. It's more or less the bootstrapped conscious representation of social algorithms that are carried out by the millions of chemical processes in our brains.
On a side note, I get to interview Steven Pinker for my job soon. Fucking. Pumped.
@braak: And it would be, hypothetically.
i can't believe will smith loves hitler.
Yeah, this article was basically just a re-hashing of a few college philosophy courses, with a hefty bit of editing. Like Aristotle, the article ultimately concludes that the best way to be the best is to be a philosopher. Convenient!
"Walk quietly among other men, but know their power for they are your enemies.
Quietly crush them as you work diligently through the night.
Pay attention to the man behind the curtain, for he is your ally.
Drink deeply and lustfully from the foamy
draught of evil... Uh, do it to the other guy before he does it to you, and be bad to the bone. Won't you? Thank you."
@meaghan2k: WHAT IS WHAT?
@BiscuitDoughJones: Ugly babies shake me to my core.
I mean, Anton Chekov's line pretty much sums it up. We have to have the ability to step outside our own subjective points of view and thoughts about ourselves before we can analyze or change anything we do.
Will Smith is just a couch jump away from CrazyTown. I don't want anything to do with he thinks is right or wrong.
@aspiringexpatriate: Right. Hypothetically.
Yeah, but 'thinking', 'talking' and 'practicing' are three very different actions that seem to all find themselves erroneously referenced when it comes to the dicey area of morality. I find that most people say that they think they're a good person because they believe blah-blah-blah. I am much less likely to actually know this about someone because I have witnessed them performing an action that would prove so.
@DavidWatts: Yeah, but you can only be a philosopher in Aristotle's eyes if you have sex with little boys.
But seriously, as someone with a degree in philosophy who one day hopes to be a philosopher, the best way to be the best person is to mock others and point out their faults. Do NOT have sex with little boys, because that will not make you a good person. Have sex with men and then make them feel inadequate. THAT makes you a good person, because then they'll always try harder.
Where's Mocena? I like when she's here to back me up on all the science-y stuff.
@braak: CAN YOU DEFINE "IS"?
@BiscuitDoughJones: Oh, no no no no. No one thinks all babies are cute. People who want to be *perceived* as good run around telling parents that their babies are cute, regardless of the infants' level of fugitude.
@braak: Don't feel bad. I'd be standing next to you egging you on.
stop reading my mind, moe!!!! so weird...i was just thinking about this over the weekend (read: bugging the shit out of my bf with my pontifications of: am i a good person? what could i do to be a better person? am i awful for not buying that homeless woman a sandwich while i was in trader joes?). i really do try to be a good person--i help whenever i can, but it has ended badly a couple times, and i end up feeling worse than if i had done nothing...
@pferde_schwanz: For fuck's sake that's not what he said. I don't have the quote memorized by heart but defamer debunked that misquote last week. Something like "I'm sure Hitler didn't think he was a bad guy." Does not mean the same thing as "Hitler really wasn't a bad guy." In fact Smith's quote kinda relates to this topic as it's all about relative objectivity being the key to being moral. For whatever that's worth.
braak, biscuitdoughjones: Ugly fat baby under a trolley?
@blackbirdfly: And that was *sarcasm*, lest I get worst comment of the day or something.
@BiscuitDoughJones: Nah. I know plenty of good people who would bend over backwards for me/you and they'll let you know in a heartbeat if your shirt/baby/hair are ugly. If I didn't love them so much, I'd punch 'em in the neck.
@aspiringexpatriate: i was joking! jeeeeez... also i have no problem with that fat-guy "dilemma" ..
Um, and it is true that Hitler probably thought Hitler was an awesome dude. He was still wrong, but, you know...
@blackbirdfly: I liked your comment. I don't think that will get worst comment of the day. I liked it because it's true. What you said is one of the first rules in Meaghanism.
@BiscuitDoughJones: My nephew was hideous until about 6 months old. Seriously ugly baby. He finally started growing into his features and is cute now, but it was this unspoken thing amongst the other kids; we all knew we were all lying when we said how cute he was. Now we laugh about it. His baby pictures still make me cringe a bit.
I have no idea if this makes me a good person or not. Kinda don't care!
@aspiringexpatriate: Ideal if he has a tiny hitler mustache.
@meaghan2k: Are you crazy? Chicks can't be philosophers.
@BiscuitDoughJones: Ha! I do the same thing. Oh well, if you can't say something nice, come sit next to me.
the drool-stained teddy bear is so true. but adults suck at dealing with cryiers. i was weeping at work a few months ago, and the woman wh staying in the bathroom for an extra 10 minutes to ask me if i was ok? she still looks at me with pity whenever she sees me. as if she has never shown weakness in her life. bitch.
Also, people, do some research on oxytocin. It'll help bring morality into a little clearer focus. The take home message: cooperating with other people and acting in a manner we'd call "altruistic" releases the same chemical that's released during orgasm. Social cohesion just feels good. And from that basic premise, you can reverse engineer much of the concept of morality. Not all of it, mind you--I'm not claiming to know everything there is to know. I'm just trying to demystify it.
@blackbirdfly: that's a shame that it's sarcasm, cause that's pretty much the way I feel. And when I see all the dudes killing women, and all the girls getting boob jobs and going on girls gone wild, I feel like I am correct.
@aspiringexpatriate: Yeah, basically he was saying something like "hitler didn't wake up everyday and said "today im going to be the evilest person in the world" that even he had gotten to those opinions (as fucked up as they were) through some sort of logic that convinced him" or something along those lines, and it's the truth.
@noseriously:
Yes, this is what I am taking away from this article.
@meaghan2k: Both my degrees are in Philosophy and all it does is make me find everything funny. I suppose this whole subject was really beaten to death in MacIntyre's "After Virtue." To say that morality is an emotive thing instead of a non-changing absolute was, in his eyes, absolutely wrong. And I have never had sex with a child or the desire to.
@aspiringexpatriate: See, if the baby was ugly and fat, I'd be able to shift my focus onto chubbo limbs and feetz, which is okay with me. NOM.
As long as my GF, petite and BFF think I'm tops, then I know it's all good, yo.
@pferde_schwanz: I blame Scientology.
@blackbirdfly: That's funny, one of my best friends and I were having this exact convo this weekend: "People probably think we're awful sometimes." "We ARE awful sometimes!" "We are awful people..." "No, we can't be, everyone loves us!" "Everyone DOES love us!!" ... "This is why we're awful." etc.
It's so hard doing the deep thinking sometimes.
@noseriously: I'm with you. Morals blah blah blah. Audrey so fabulous. Yay.
That's just where my head's at today.
I'm a bad person because I just had a salad with tuna salad and raw onions and jalepenos and a bunch of other stinky stuff on it. I'm probably grossing out my coworkers, but I think it's funny.
This is tough. What you've been conditioned to believe vs. what you actually believe vs. what you think a "good person" should believe are always in conflict.
Example: You pass a homeless person on the street, who asks you for money.
You are conditioned to believe: "He will spend this on drugs/liquor"
You actually believe: "I'm pretty sure he'll spend this on booze, but it's fucking cold and I'm not going to stop him"
You should believe: "If I give this man any money, he won't clean himself up. I should let him move in with me, like that movie, Curly Sue."
I'm a good person because I will take my BFF to the airport and pick her up.
@braak: CHICKS ARE THE BEST PHILOSOPHERS! Such as.
@BiscuitDoughJones: My husband also talks about ugly babies. He has learned not to do this when I'm driving because I will drive us into a ditch, laughing like a loon.
This is the same guy who got the big end of the wishbone at Thanksgiving and wished for "a baby with big ears" because he "couldn't think of anything else." We had no idea I was pregnant.
@lolainblackglasses: i was a fugly baby with course black hair that stuck out is every direction, and a peanut-shaped head, and i grew into a beautiful child with golden ringlet curls, and then quite a nice looking adult (after several painfully awkward teenage years)
@BiscuitDoughJones: so don't worry about the ugly bebes. you can gag at them all you want. hopefully they'll grow out of their uglies
@aspiringexpatriate: "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". i think that pretty much summed up what Will Smith was trying to say. and of course there are some crazy Jewish people who saw that as proof of Will Smith's Anti-Semitism.
anything about morality should be attributed to this quote from "harold and maude": "vice, virtue. It's best not to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality. If you apply that to life, then you're bound to live life fully."