i'm having 1 maid- my sister. and she gets to wear whatever she wants as long as it's not pepto-bismol pink.

is that an image from a playboy wedding? or a dallas cowboy cheerleader wedding?

Vera Wang truly is a genius; she managed to make models look stumpy.

As a kind of a clarification, I don't know that Catherine Thomas can take credit for creating the yellow jumpsuit lookin Kill Bill, as this was clearly a reference to Bruce Lee.

I have to say I've been in several weddings and never had to wear anything hideous. Maybe this is because I am not friends with people who would do such a thing to me.

hm, that empire/goddess Vera Wang bridesmaid's dress isn't half-bad. Costumey, but then again, all my friends are arts people, so it's pretty much expected that their potential weddings will involve some seriously dramatic ensembles.

(example: a few of us bridesmaids debated whether or not a corset dress with bustle would be appropriate maid-wear. Eventually, it was vetoed, but not without deciding that the elbow-length gloves in that ensemble could stay.)

Argh. That pink hurts my eyes. I have a deal with my sisters and friends; if they insist on me being a bridesmaid, I reserve the right to wear whatever I would have worn to the wedding anyway.

@titania1285: Exactly what I'm doing except I'm choosing the color--my sister can choose her own style. My friend is one of seven bridesmaids for an upcoming wedding and within 2 days, the girls have already emailed over 30 times. Too. Much. Drama.

my cousin is getting married later this year. I rejoiced when I wasn't chosen as a bridesmaid, that's money saved for the bar I'm sure I'll have to hit up frequently at the wedding. Here's hoping there's a cute bartender.

I've worn some that were quite kind to me, but in the end they're still bridesmaid's dresses, and even the classiest of them look like it. So you don't wear it again because you look like a bridesmaid. And I never did understand the tradition of being flanked by people who are all dressed alike. It's weird.

Thankfully, my cousin has given me complete license on what I get to wear for her wedding in May. She would kick my ass if I chose anything tacky.

My bridesmaids (all two of them) picked out the dresses on their own; I did ask that they have similar dresses, but that wasn't hard, because they were both the same build (tall and skinny, so anything looked good on them). They got matching black cocktail dresses.

Oh, and they were asking me what shoes they should wear, how their hair should be, etc. I was like, "Um, I don't really care, as long as you don't wear Converse and comb that shit."

Finally, I didn't realize that people were still assholes about tacky bridesmaids' dresses, or that said dresses still exist. Oy.

Sweet merciful crap.
The one to the right of the "blushing bride," I can almost see her lady business. I thought you weren't supposed to upstage/upskirt the bride on her big day.

no bridesmaids for me. im doing all my gal pals a favor.

@TruculentandUnreliable: Plus, I wanted them to be able to wear the dresses again.

I wonder if any of them have their natural hair color?

If only they would reach their arms above their heads then we could see. See their vagina. Because the skirts are so short? Get it?

You get it.

I promised my girls (4 life long best friends) that they could all wear Betsy Johnson dresses as long as they were in the same color family. Everyone is happy, everyone gets a fun new dress. Done and done.

I think I'll put my bridesmaids in apricot organdy with peach accents. Also hats. Dyed-to-match straw hats trimmed with gebera daisies.

@titania1285: Same here. I told my one bridesmaid to wear whatever the hell she wanted. She chose a very nice dark green velvet dress and looked gorgeous. I just attended a wedding with 5 bridesmaids who were apparently told the same thing. The results varied: one woman in a very slinky/sexy copper gown, a couple in semi-casual, comfortable dresses, and one wearing, frankly, a nightmare (in my opinion). Bride & groom seemed happy to make sure their friends were happy & comfortable. Lovely wedding!

@AndYourLittleDogToo: i have a friend getting married in september and i'm pretty sure i'm going to be a bridesmaid. the chosen dress? a floor-length, chocolate brown dress WITH SLEEVES because her older sister doesn't like her arms. I LIKE MY ARMS. and my legs. i'm not gonna dress like a chocolate brown whore to your wedding, so can i PLEASE choose the dress? ugh.

@TruculentandUnreliable: That is the one thing about them -- they are one use items.

@braak: Enter the dragon in a yellow jumpsuit-- yes, that was a homage. Or she Jessica Seinfelded that outfit.

I was lucky that my sister had a good head on her shoulders when she got married. She picked a very modest (enough, there was almost no back but a high frontal neckline), simple dress in periwinkle. I was actually able to use it for my junior prom!

However, when I was a tot and was asked to be the flower girl at my cousin's wedding, I wore this peach, poofy atrocity.

Agh!!! I'm so sick of hearing about this 27 Dresses movie. I refuse to see it, I don't care if Judy Greer's in it. Oh, and if I have hear Katherine Heigl say "because you think it makes you sexxayy" I'm going to put my foot through the television.

@feathernotdot: Not that I ever would, ofcourse. Except maybe just to eff with her.

Those Vera Wang dresses (the cocktail length ones) actually seem like they would look better on normal-sized women than runway models. Shocking!

I know it sounds really bad to say this, but I hate being asked to be a be a bridesmaid.
I don't know if its just my friends or what, but its always so damn stressful. I had one friend freak out because I was going out of the country for two weeks TWO MONTHS before the wedding.

I always have more fun when I'm a guest.

I do think most bridesmaids' dresses today are a bit more forgiving than some in the past. At least there's very few puffy sleeves and less shiny satin. I've only had to ever wear one, for my sister's wedding, and it was just a basic (and flattering) strapless jewel-toned purple tea-length dress with an a-line skirt. It was also only about $100, which is a far cry from some of the bigger-ticket dresses.

My bridesmaids, all four of them,* just wore a black dress of their choosing. I kept getting emails and calls asking if I cared about the style, length, material, etc. and the answer was always NO! And what was the result? My closest friends in dresses that flattered their bodies and looked like them, not some bridal fantasy version of themselves.

*I only wanted two attendants, but my husband insisted on five because he just had to include every dude he'd ever spoken to, so I had four ladies and one dude standing up on my side. Groomzilla, indeed.

The one thing that seriously, legitimately bothers me about bridesmaids dresses is that the bride chooses this dress, which is fine (and definitely her right) but she's picking ONE dress style for all of her maids (who are theoretically different body types). In the wedding I'm in, I'm the only girl with huge tittles and we get to wear strapless, floor length satin dresses - all I know is that, rather than being able to dance, Imma have to hike that thing up over my double-d's all night...and it's lavender. It's like god damn prom all over again.

Not only is it going to look fug on me, I have to shell out $300 for it. That's a lot of fucking money for something that hideous which I will obviously never wear again...Maybe I could go reverse Gone with the Wind and make it into curtains? (There's certainly enough fabric...boo).

@athertonmerriweather: Amen.

bubble hems should be illegal. they flatter no one.

@dirtybee: i hope they return the favor! it's always seemed seriously weird to me that the "happiest day of your life" for some reason requires that you treat your friends / family as props.

I agree with Mischka--anyone remember the JC Penneys bridal catalog from the 80's? Nothing but taffeta and butt bows and that weird hemline that's short in the front and long in the back. I was a bridesmaid in junior high and remember the misery of trying on a lot of Jessica McClintock pouf dresses.

My mom had five bridesmaids, each wearing a different colored chiffon pastel dress with a matching sunhat. It was hideous.

The bridesmaid dress I wore last year wasnt too bad. Or at least we thought - it was this tight satin material, which looked okay-good on all of us as we're pretty fit, BUT the material caused you to sweat a bit, and showed the sweat marks majorly! Under the pits, under my boobs .... yowza.

My bridesmaids wore J-Crew dresses they picked out. I gave them, like, 5 options. They were brown, so they can wear them wherever. "The women's ability to wear the dress again" combined with "The women's ability to PAY for the dress" was the #1 priority when choosing outfits. I think they looked smashing.

[picasaweb.google.com]

I had one maid of honor (my sister) and let her buy any damn dress she wanted. I just needed someone to hold my flowers while having my ring put on and to sign the license. She always looks pretty and what the hell do I care anyway?

The etiquettehell.com website has a Hall of Shame where women sent in their worst bridesmaids dresses. Hilarious.

@hatepaperdoll: Dont forget to add baby's breath!

If my sisters could pick their 'maids dresses, it's look like Atlantic City hooker meets Beyonce. Hell to the no!

I figure all my girls can pick their dress so long as its the same color. And over 4150 for a dress is ridic - I'd never make someone pay $300 for the honor of standing by my side as I get hitched. gah!

@hatepaperdoll: Be sure to do wicker baskets of flowers and perhaps extremely large corsages for the other women in the bridal party.

And which wedding theme includes ill-fitting, over-draped lavender chiffon?

"Maybe you don't have to wear a baby blue damask silk gown which hangs at the natural waist and has crepe flowers blooming out of the shoulders, but are you really going to feel much better when you see yourself in a picture of the bridal party in 20 years time, bedecked in a burnt-orange baby doll dress?"

So true. I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again--J.Crew's dresses are great. Lots of colors, lots of sillouhettes, and the fabrics are so much richer than what you buy at some bridal shop and are usually about the same price. While they may have a few styles that try to be fashion-forward, there's usually something for almost everyone. And if your bridesmaids are comfortable and confident, they'll be happier, which will lead to more fun and better pictures. Win-win-win.

On a related note, I hated the winning dress on Project Runway last night. Because it embodies everything that the above quote says perfectly.

i think it stems from the bride being terribly afraid that her 'maids will steal the scene from her on her wedding day. example: my one friend had us wear any dress we wanted, being that it had to be black and at least knee-length. my other friend had us choose from a certain designer's line and a particular shade of (hideous) blue. during the entire first wedding, all the guests kept commenting how attractive the bridesmaids were. during the second, we matched the flowers, and that was about it. all eyes on the bride. although i did get to milk a cow at the second while drunk off my ass, so i did sorta steal the scene for a sec--the wedding took place on the bride's parents dairy farm-awesome.

@sumac: A-fucking-men. I had to wear one... made me look like a disco ball mated with a salt shaker. I won't go on, but you get the point.

@BeAgrestic: And doesn't it always seem like there are too many bridesmaids/groomsmen, because the bride/groom don't want to offend anyone?

@teapartys_over: From my frequent viewings of CSI:Crime Scene Investigation, I learned that bridesmaids are a throwback to Roman times, where the bride had women who all dressed like her (apparently we let that part go with the advent of bridezillas) in order to protect her on her wedding day from evil spirits.

I memorize anything Gil Grissom (aka William Petersen) says. Because he's a silver fox.