• First, we made a New Year's resolution to be nicer to womanity.
  
• Then we agreed with Julie Burchill and told you how awesome bitches are.
  
• We also felt conflicted over the trainwreck that is the life of Britney Spears. Are we the cause, or the, well, cause?
  
• But you know what's totally not our fault? Kumari Fulbright, the law student (well, now probably former law student) who posed in a bikini for a gun calendar and kidnapped her boyfriend with three middle aged men.
  
• We also met her awesomely meth-y mugshot
  
• And her equally awesome Facebook profile!
  
• Obama won in Iowa, and boy, were we excited.
  
• Just like Scar Jo, the other Obama girl.
  
• So let's all celebrate with a few beers at Ellen Page's haunted whorehouse, because no one likes transparent sluts better than us.

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