A woman named Julie Burchill writes in the Guardian today about how being a bitch is a lost art. READ EVERY WORD.
No, seriously, go. I can't blockquote the whole thing. Shit, should I just blockquote the whole thing? No. And when you come back, since you'll want to know who wrote this revelatory piece, it's Julie Burchill — rhymes with Churchill! — a recently converted Christian who never attended college because she was too busy being a punk rock teenage NME contributor. In 1,293 words she eviscerates tabloid schadenfreude, the soft bigotry of low expectations, political correctness, racism disguised as classism, envy disguised as empathy, Bonnie Fuller, the "confessional" personal essay, and pretty much everyone who works for a women's magazine and takes it even remotely seriously. Sorry guys! I had to say it. Listen. Seriously, I'm going to say it now: every time you say something "mean" that is not borne of insecurity or envy or hypocrisy or some other all-too-common society-feueled manifestation of a deficiency of conscience, you are DOING THE WORLD A PUBLIC SERVICE. There is not enough of it in this world. Really.
I don't know what else to say. There's too much. I have to post this thing. I guess maybe the one thing I would point out is that there are schools that believe "society" is responsible for demonizing the bitch, for turning the true bitch into an endangered species, and to that I say, society is one half bitches, you bitches; we've only got ourselves (and stupidity) to blame. Yeah yeah, bitch at me all you want. I love you bitches.
Bring Back The Red-Blooded Bitch [Guardian]
Related: Dorothy Parker [Wikipedia]