Boston Proper: When You Don't Actually Have A Yacht In The Mediterranean But Wish You Did

Did you put on a few pounds over the holidays? Good news: It's "resort" season! This means pre-spring clothes and, horror of horrors, swimsuits. Boston Proper, the catalog out of Boca Raton, Florida, has great looks for those who want to vacation like a shipping-heir... or just vacation, period. (By the way, the catalog industry is killing about 8 million trees a month, so if you don't like what you're getting, do something about it.) Ahoy! Sailor stripes and gaucho pants, after the jump.

Boston Proper: When You Don't Actually Have A Yacht In The Mediterranean But Wish You Did

Yeah, you can't hit the scorching hot sands of Malta without a baby doll dress held up by chains. We hear.

Boston Proper: When You Don't Actually Have A Yacht In The Mediterranean But Wish You Did

Let's just say, for arguments' sake, that she actually is the captain of a ship. What would that vessel be called? HMS Skank? SS Short-Shorts? Goodship Crotch Rot? Suggestions welcome.

Boston Proper: When You Don't Actually Have A Yacht In The Mediterranean But Wish You Did

There comes a time in every woman's life when the sailor look is no longer cute, and that time may be before the age of 12.

Boston Proper: When You Don't Actually Have A Yacht In The Mediterranean But Wish You Did

Thanks, but no thanks.

Boston Proper: When You Don't Actually Have A Yacht In The Mediterranean But Wish You Did

Oooh, actually, the wrap dress is quite nice! Comes in navy? Sold.

Boston Proper: When You Don't Actually Have A Yacht In The Mediterranean But Wish You Did

The best thing about this faux-Hermès print is that a few of the local youths in my nabe have oversized hoodies with gold chains printed on them. It's a better use of the motif, methinks.

Boston Proper: When You Don't Actually Have A Yacht In The Mediterranean But Wish You Did

These "bust-enhancing" suits appear to be merely "bust-squashing."

Related: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Statistics [Popular Science]

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