Dear "Baby Daddy" Steve Almond: Ever Heard Of That Saying,"You Can't Have It All"?

Steve Almond and Jane Roper are two bloggers for the parenting website Babble who recently decided, "in the spirit of blog-raderie", to have a play date and blog about it on their respective blogs. Ruh-oh! "Josie seems so sweet and sociable on her dad's blog, but in reality, I'm sorry to report, she's a total prima donna," wrote Jane of the child Steve allegedly referred to as "high superior queen of the baby blogosphere." Rebutted Steve re Jane's twins: "They do have one major thing going for them: they know how to sit still. Really really well." Then Jane captioned a photo: "Note how my girls are sweetly fawning all over [Josie] while all she cares about is trying to get into a more flattering pose for the camera." Ha ha ha! So it's pretty obvious, the "play date from hell" was a joke destined to poke fun at the way Blog Age mommies and daddies find in their children warm vessels onto which they can once and for all project all the narcissism and greed they hid so shamefully as singles.

While...simultaneously...trying to get hits for their blogs? Okay, something, whatever. Here's what we know about Steve Almond: he has spent a lot of time bemoaning the merciless, nuance-less unrelenting meanness of the blogosphere. He has spent a lot of time doing that because his editor alerted him to the fact that Gawker had posted a bizarre collection of emails he had written to Oprah. He wrote a book called Candyfreak. Full disclosure: I read Candyfreak because my old literary agent suggested I model my own book proposal on that book. Candyfreak was about candy. My book proposal was about capitalism. It's all the same shit, right? Packaging and cool fonts and satisfactillicious content? Cause we're all just tryin to get the hits? But wait, it can't just be about the hits? I mean, as you yourself wrote, Steve:

By appealing to our most childish impulses — and with the cowardly consent of the left — the right-wing of this country has managed to Gawk the political discourse. This is why matters of policy go uncovered, while gossip and gaffes and cleavage and haircuts and (most of all) emotionally convincing ad hominems determine the outcome of elections. If this country ever hopes to rouse itself from the moral torpor marked by the Bush years, we are going to have to end our addiction to Gawking, and face up to the common crises of state.
Hey, point taken, Steve and Jane. I'll stop Gawking at you, if you do like responsible adults and write some posts that explain in plain English how to pull out of Iraq and solve the health care crisis. I'll totally link to them on my blog, and send you hits, and as an added bonus, we'll save the world! You should care about that, right? You're the ones with children.

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