Weird fact I'm going to try and read into: the most-commented Jezebel post of 2007 was not about forgiving your rapist or cheating on your boyfriend or butt sex or birth control or that one time you got way too drunk and made a bad decision. No, far and away it was the one about the books you read as a kid. The list was super high-low, as they say in the fashion world: Jane Eyre alongside Baby-sitters Club, Narnia next to V.C. Andrews, Jackie Collins bumping up against Ray Bradbury. And aside from reminding me how it used to be not only possible but popular to concentrate on the same body of text for hours at a time, it reminded me of the most awesomest thing about this blog: I get to comment on Jamie-Lynn Spears while making fun of Mike Huckabee commenting on Jamie Lynn Spears while making fun of Mike Huckabee not being briefed on Iranian nuclear proliferation ALL ON THE SAME BLOG. We all do! And shit, I don't usually admit this to anyone, but that is awesome. Maybe the big problem with mindporn like Danielle Steele and Sweet Valley High and US Weekly has not ever been that it exists, but that it's no longer expected that anyone who indulges in it once in awhile has the brain cells left for anything else.
But every time we write a post, no matter what the topic, it's pretty clear that all y'all do. Back before this site launched Anna and I would always imagine a site that could be the sort of site that would restore some of the guilt back to guilty pleasures — like, we'd indulge in them of course, but we'd try to care about the important shit, too — and I think it kind of worked, because now I am ashamed to say I spend a lot of the time I should be writing guiltily scanning the jokes you write on Snap Judgments and Dirt Bag, only to find myself challenged or inspired or actually educated by something more thoughtful you have to say about, say, the radiation emitted in the aftermath of a black hole explosion, only to find myself snorting embarrassingly to myself again when someone else references how they'd like to commit an "act of galactic violence" against Bonnie Fuller or whatever... The point being that you commenters — and here I would like to thank in particular our top five most prolific, SinisterRouge, BiscuitDoughJones, Foree, BangieB and lf1031 — make us feel somehow LESS ALONE in the world, and um, I guess here's the awkward part where I remember to thank you for like, helping me pay down my credit card debt and uhmmm, that shit as well? Yeah, that too.
Here's the list, for your procrastipleasure, of the top 20 most-commented posts of 2007.
1. Were You A Judy Blume Enthusiast Or A Babysitters Club Nerd?
2. The 5 Steps To Recovery From The "Modern Love" That Will Make You Hate Women
3. Ike Turner Died, But His Hair Lives On In Saleisha's Weave
4. I Ask Dudes To Cum On My Ass On The First Date
5. Who's Really The Sexiest Man Alive?
6. The Skinny Bitches Behind Skinny Bitch Are Back
7. How About You Don't Ask To Come On My Face On The First Date?
8. Teenage Pregnancies On The Upswing: Is Angelina To Blame?
9. What Makes A Name "Sexy"?
10. Are The Parents Who MySpace Tormented Megan Meier To Her Suicide Ready To Atone?
11. Is It Actually Harder To Get Off During Oral Sex Than Regular Sex?
12. The Real Beasts At Zoos Are Not Always In Cages
13. Jamie-Lynn Spears Is Pregnant!
14. "I Don't Care If You're Jewish Or Some Other Religion That Doesn't Celebrate Christmas Because My Parents Are In France And Would Never Find Out"
15.If You Can Handle A Really Depressing Teen Suicide Story Right Now
16. In Some Places, Skinny Jeans And Stiletto Boots Can Get You Killed
17. Nigella Lawson Feels Bad About Her Body
18. Michelle Obama Is Not A Whiter Shade Of Trophy Wife
19. Paul Janka Did Not Date Rape Me Last Night
20. Why Do Wives Blame The "Other Woman" For Their Husbands' Wandering Weiners?