Before we start attending to the serious business of scowling intently at bartenders we wrongly suspect of ignoring us and wildly overtipping them to compensate for that — oh why pretend, I'm already drinking — we'd like to present you with this sobering image. It's Meagan Harper, Oregon 30-year-old and female record holder in the Smoking Gun's "highest blood alcohol level at time of arrest" contest. At 5'11 and 130 pounds, Harper's shocking 0.55 blood alcohol content suggests to us she hadn't had very much to eat the day police found her passed out in a car parked outside a pizza parlor. (Fun fact: Being passed out drunk in the front seat of a parked car: illegal!) And don't think it can't happen to you drunkorexics!
Back in college, before I even had much of a problem with alcohol, I had a problem with over-the-counter diuretics, laxatives, and overall not eating. Add a stressful schedule and two cups of Everclear punch to that mix and guess what the school addiction counselor told me my BAL at the time of entrance to the emergency room was?
So along with not drinking and driving, ladies, don't drink and starve yourself this weekend. I know you feel fat from the crap your parents keep around the house, but make sure to accompany every adult beverage with plenty of salty snacks, electrolyte-infused sports drinks and real Coca cola. Happy New Year! [Yeah, we'll be blogging on Monday. -Ed.]
Megan Harper [TSG]