Writer and Sexist of the Year Tad Safran, who has spent the past month insulting both British and American women (and in some cases, American women playing British women, like Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones), is ostensibly the subject of a column in today's Daily Mail called The Man Who Called British Women 'Ugly' Goes On A Date - With Liz Jones. Who is Liz Jones? A writer (pictured here with Tad) who spends the first half of her article slagging American women. Why does she hold such a grudge against the Yankee birds? Because her ex-husband cheated on her with one, naturally!
Jones's cuckold, "Daphne" is an example of everything that's wrong with what she calls "mindbogglingly stupid" American women. (How charming that, instead of damning the man in question, Jones takes the tried and true tactic of blaming the woman.)
The dreaded Daphne, who lived in Brooklyn in what was probably a 3sqft bedsit, spent a lot of money on pedicures (I know this because I intercepted his texts to her, in praise of her toes), was incredibly self-obsessed (oh dear God, the e-mails about how she wanted to work for a non-profit organisation stretched to five pages), not funny at all, and obviously in possession of a very loose set of morals.
But that's not all! Jones calls American women — specifically women who work in fashion and media and live in New York and L.A. — "incredibly, earth-shatteringly, want-to-eat-your-own-arm-when-they-are-talking-to-you boring." She also accuses American women of being simultaneously overeducated and dim. "They all have several masters degrees, which makes me think the American version must be multiple choice, are fearsomely ambitious, despite having absolutely zero talent (have you read the super-sycophantic dribblings in New York Magazine? Ohmigod!), and obsessed with staying young and marrying rich." (Shortly afterwards, Liz discusses the Chanel polish she uses for her manicure, the Dolce & Gabbana cardigan she wears, the Alberta Ferretti dress she dons, and the Bottega Veneta shoes she puts on — all for her date with Safran.)
When she finally gets to her date with the Tadster, you feel like this Liz Jones character deserves the asshole. And how did the date go? Not well! Says Liz: "His three words to describe me were 'bitter, driven and forward-looking', which would have been the most damning words of the evening ('Well, you do talk about your ex-husband all the time'), had he not then gone on to say he only fancies blondes. Charming."
But even after all that, Liz "did quite like him," and wonders why Tad doesn't ask her about New Year's Eve plans. Why doesn't Tad want to see Liz again? I'll go with the Daily Mail commenters on this one: "She sounds like a miserable old bag with bad attitude."
The man who called British women 'ugly' goes on a date - with Liz Jones [Daily Mail]
Related: Liz Jones's Diary [You Magazine]