• It goes without saying that the biggest news of the week was Jamie Lynn Spears' underage spermination.
  
• But she's not the only one! Fantasia and Lily Allen are also up the stick.
  
• Stars are also pregnant with hair. A look back at the year in weaves.
  
• In other news, ur-douche Paul Janka did not date rape Moe. Imagine that!
  
• But if he had, British politician John Redwood probs would have let him go, but not without a stern talking-to. Because it wasn't stranger rape or anything.
  
• The beauty and fashion industries are still trying to sell us a lot of whitewashed models and junk science.
  
• But it's the holidays, bitches! So go fall into an egg nog coma whilst watching the Spice Girls, you fucking dykes!

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