"Then Trent Lott Called Up Ted Turner And Was Like, 'Dibs On Malcolm X, Bitch'!"

John Edwards totally claims Dr. Strangelove is his favorite movie but he is lying because he has never even seen it, his wife just TOLD him to say that. Anyway it's the Friday before Christmas and there is nothing more interesting than maybe the prospect of seeing movies other than It's A Wonderful Life. Which candidates are seeing Sweeney Todd and which are taking the families to see Charlie Wilson's War? What's Megan's favorite movie and what's my favorite movie I've never seen? These questions and a piece of cruel kitty legislation, after the jump.

Moe: So John Edwards did this introduction to Dr. Strangelove for the Turner Classic channel and he NEVER EVEN SAW THE FRICKIN MOVIE. HE CLAIMED IT WAS HIS FAVORITE AND HE NEVER EVEN SAW IT. OMG WTF YTF ROTF IN SHOCK. Does this mean he is a "phony"?
Megan: Even better, he only chose it because Orrin fucking Hatch got to go first and already chose "To Kill a Mockingbird." And, um, yeah. He's a politician. They're all phony.
Moe: What is it about Orrin Hatch I find endearing?
Megan: Yeah, that I can't tell you.
Moe: I think it's that he snagged "To Kill A Mockingbird" before John Edwards
That's kind of endearing.
Like, I bet there was a big GOP request-a-thon
And Trent Lott was like Malcolm X
Megan: Maybe the fact that he continues to fight tooth and nail for the RIAA's position on pirating because, as a song-writer, he stands to benefit from it?
Moe: And Tom DeLay was like "ooooh oooooh ooooh Apocalypse Now mememememe!!!!" And then J.C. Watts was like, "Aw man, you can't even top this. Do The Right Thing. SUCK IT OBAMA!
And then he called up and Alan Keyes had beaten him to it.
What's your favorite movie? I heard Giuliani was into Fellini but that's just because he can't exactly say The Godfather is his favorite film.
Megan: That's actually a really hard question. I own like 100. But the two I've seen the most, probably (if that's any guide) are Philadelphia Story and Goonies. And then maybe Wings of Desire. See, this is why it's hard.
Moe: I don't see a lot of movies. I always mean to change that. But my favorite movie of all time is Dazed and Confused.
Megan: [whispers in shame]I've actually never seen that. My parents were really strict about movies growing up. Hence with Goonies
Moe: My parents were strict too so I didn't see Fast Times At Ridgemont High until I was like twenty. But I never returned it to the video store so now I own it and I have to say what a gem of a possession.
Megan: Another movie in my endless Netflix queue...
Moe: Oh speaking of movies Charlie Wilson's War is out and I get the feeling the critics approve, maybe they do not find Julia Roberts as offensive as I do, and the front page of the Post has a story that says "Spending Bills Still Stuffed With Earmarks." Will we never learn our lesson?
Megan: Nope. Earmark reform is only as good as the voters who are willing to chastise their elected representatives for bringing money to the district. The problem, you see, is everyone else's earmarks.
Moe: And speaking of, John McCain — also a phony? Your explanation of his possible favorizing the lady lobbyist seemed a bit "ambivalent"
Megan: Well, if I could've found campaign cash, I would have.
Moe: Speaking of ambivalent, did you see the statement out from John Stewart and Colbert re returning with scabby scabs: ""We would like to return to work with our writers. If we cannot, we would like to express our ambivalence, but without our writers we are unable to express something as nuanced as ambivalence."
Megan: I mean, short of him caught shtupping whomever she is, unless she's married to a staffer of his who's, in effect, thrown him under the bus, it just seems like politics as usual to a degree.
I did see that. That can't be good for the strike.
Moe: When are you going home? Are you excited about Charlie Wilson's War? Cause I sorta am. Puts me in the holiday spirit andsuch.
I think I'm going to sit around with the fam and watch John Edwards' favorite movie he has never seen, too.
Megan: It does look like a really fun picture, but, you know, Johnny Depp and Tim Burton might win out for me.
Moe: Ugh, too goth for me.
Megan: Well, over Thanksgiving I made my parents watch A Very Long Engagement and realized that, at 30, it's still awkward to watch French love scenes with your parents. Since my Netflix just delivered The Lover, I don't know what I'll watch. Probably It's a Wonderful Life because I love Jimmy Stewart.
But, I'm driving home tomorrow, in answer to the other question.
Moe: I don't know what else is really going on. Is anything really going on? I am at home where we get the Washington Post in its paper form and the winner of the Washington Post's annual wrapping paper design contest, I have to say, is not blowing me away. I'm thinking that children don't learn to draw anymore, or newspapers have to retool their printing processes for stuff like this.
Megan: Well, a former Fox News talking head who goes by the charming name "Babe for Bush" is a) Canadian and b) apparently a stalker and falsely accused someone of rape in college.
The birth rate is up in the U.S., naturally, which means it's not just immigration keeping Social Security in the black.
Moe: Oh JAMIE LYNN SPEARS REFERENCE.
Megan: and the NYC Health Department wants kitty cats out of bodegas, which is another stupid asshole move by overeager government regulators. Cute kitty picture, too.
Moe: OMG HOW DID I MISS THAT ONE HOLY SHIT.
Srsly though, my sister broke out in hives when she came to visit me.
Megan: Your cat does, obviously, like the couch.
After I got home from your place that time, I totally bought Benadryl and put some in my overnight cosmetics bag.
Moe: Haha sorry, it's so weird bc I always figured I would be allergic since everyone in my family totes is!
Megan: Or you've just overwhelmed your allergy and it's given up and slunk away. Kind of like the Democrats on Iraq.
Moe: Oh and by the way the reason the Edwardses aren't the Clintons is that Elizabeth doesn't have electoral ambitions of her own. You know, Like Cheney!