Jamie-Lynn Spears is pregnant. She was born in 1991. This story comes to us courtesy tomorrow's OK!, which actually pays for stories, in contrast to the much classier People, which has traditionally landed all Spears family exclusives, but I'm thinking a teenage pregnancy might have been just the straw to make either the Spears family or the editors of People finally come to the realization, "You know, the Spears family really isn't that classy." So, the news: um, guess it runs in the family! And by "it" I mean, "too many trainwreck tendencies to probably list right now, or like, ever." Also: fertility, right? I mean, at this rate, Britney's probably pregnant again, too. Oh wait, nix the "probably"!
Seriously, if this was rumored back in July and she doesn't look five months pregnant in OK! this might not be the first time she's been knocked up. And if she does, how awesome would it be if she popped it out before her seventeenth birthday in April? I mean, to her credit, maybe Jamie Lynn's just trying to get the childrearing part out of the way before the family dementia sets in.
I know I'd rather leave my kids with Jamie Lynn than her older sis. Oooooh, maybe K-Fed will hire her to babysit! Speaking of, does Britney get to keep her next child and start all over again? So many questions. More questions than answers! Like for instance, who's the father? Oh wait, here are some pics, but who the hell is he? I know there's a reason I care...
Now we know she's just trailer trash like her sister!!!! [Perez]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMGGGGG!!!!! [OhNoTheyDidnt]