Jezebel
Jamie-Lynn Spears is pregnant. She was born in 1991. This story comes to us courtesy tomorrow's OK!, which actually pays for stories, in contrast to the much classier People, which has traditionally landed all Spears family exclusives, but I'm thinking a teenage pregnancy might have been just the straw to make either the Spears family or the editors of People finally come to the realization, "You know, the Spears family really isn't that classy." So, the news: um, guess it runs in the family! And by "it" I mean, "too many trainwreck tendencies to probably list right now, or like, ever." Also: fertility, right? I mean, at this rate, Britney's probably pregnant again, too. Oh wait, nix the "probably"!
Seriously, if this was rumored back in July and she doesn't look five months pregnant in OK! this might not be the first time she's been knocked up. And if she does, how awesome would it be if she popped it out before her seventeenth birthday in April? I mean, to her credit, maybe Jamie Lynn's just trying to get the childrearing part out of the way before the family dementia sets in.
I know I'd rather leave my kids with Jamie Lynn than her older sis. Oooooh, maybe K-Fed will hire her to babysit! Speaking of, does Britney get to keep her next child and start all over again? So many questions. More questions than answers! Like for instance, who's the father? Oh wait, here are some pics, but who the hell is he? I know there's a reason I care...
Now we know she's just trailer trash like her sister!!!! [Perez]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMGGGGG!!!!! [OhNoTheyDidnt]
Comments
I feel so old.
Oh god she is my sister's age.
Also, RAISE YOUR HAND if you are surprised! Anyone? Anyone?
I really don't get it. Humans can do a ton of complex tasks, yet still can't master their own reproductive system. It's not that hard.
I think the parents of the Spears sisters just need to throw in the towel and give up already and let other more capable people take over.
sad.
No! Not Jamie-Lynn!
16?? god i want to cry...get that girl to an abortion clinic (against her will) ASAP!!
WHO IS THE FATHER??????
Wow, I'm loving that the OK! cover says she's "shocked." Yeah, it's amazing that when you have tons of unprotected sex with your boyfriend that you're living with that, like, a magical stork brings you a baby. Shocking!
A triumph for Idiot America, my friends!
I am SO saddened by this. Have these girls ever heard of condoms?!
One of Misdemeanor's favorite bloggers is now reporting that our gal Lily Allen is preggers, too.
No! Please, tell me this is a lie. Pregnant at 16?! Did she not learn anything from the disaster that is her sister?
Sadness!
ps if the dad is her bf from those pics, he's 19 (3 years older.)
I guess Zowie 101 should have taken Sex Ed. 101.
What is up with all the pregnancy lately? And apparently she met the boyfriend *in church*. Oh goodness.
stop having so much unprotected sex.
@athertonmerriweather: I hope it's K-Fed.
A friend of mine is dealing with suddenly being pregnant with twins (she was on birth control, but admits she wasn't as accurate as could be) and how young she is. She is 22.
Thank you, Ms. Spears, for letting us all know that things could be worse. Kudos to you. I think she and her boyfriend are totally forever, and that they can totally handle raising a baby, and won't ever have regrets. Super.
I would think that watching her sister would be an excellent form of birth control...
She needs to clean up her eyebrows.
@ohnokids:
For serious? GUH. I think I just wet myself a little in glee.
Thank you, church! Sweet deliverer of irony! Praise be!
In: Bastard Children.
Five Minutes Ago: Adopting Third World Babies.
Out: Abortions
apparently Lily Allen is pregnant too.
im definitely not having kids, I may have to adopt a spears baby instead.
@AK1: really?!?
This is not surprising. Apparently she turned to her sister for advice on birth control. Making good life decisions obviously does not run in this family.
@athertonmerriweather: apparently a guy she met at church, casey aldridge
@BK_KT: Hell, apparently condoms and emergency contraception are out.
Dear sweet lord. WTF? thats all the wine will let me say...
I AM NOT ONE FOR ABORTIONS, BUT SERIOUSLY IS THIS CHILD READY TO HAVE KID(S)?
Why was this church-going Republican Disney Princess spreading her legs like that anyway?
If we don't talk about sex, maybe it'll go away.
CHRISTMAS COMES EARLY TO JEZEBEL! This is honestly the best thing I've ever heard aaaaaalll day!
@BK_KT:
Of COURSE abortions are out! That would be a sin.
It was time for me to start downing my wine anyway. Anyone need a glass?
Keisha Castle-Hughes this girl ain't.
What in the trailer trash hell is wrong with this bumpkin ass family?
Y'all, my sister totally told me you don't get belly fruit if you douche wth. Mountain Dew after. The only reason she had Justin and Justin2 (that's totes their real names btw) was cause she passed out halfway through the doin' it. This is,like, so unfair y'all.
Is this family (Spears) just hungry for attention?! I mean, if you're a mom and you're 16 yr old kid is pregnant, would you go out and announce it to the world?!
I feel sorry for this family...
already started, thanks. cheers!!! @JessiRamsey:
she's also wearing too much goddamned makeup.
Holy shit. This is going to give so many people so much material.
But: a 16 year old girl from a clearly fucked up family is pregnant.
Sadness.
Underage sex, teenage pregnancy = OK!
Abortion = Sin.
WTF?
By the way, we miss the Evening Purge. Please bring it back. Soon. Kisses!
So her new claim to fame is teen pregnancy? Good, now Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach" is stuck in my head.
@hatepaperdoll: Hahahaha!
@nyotista: maybe they wanted to distract from all the attention britney's getting. they sure went about it all wrong though, huh
I guess studio schools teach abstinence. And we all know that works. Besides, ya'll, she don't know no better.
To be honest, the links made me laugh with all the "!!!!!!!" action, but the fact that Jaime-Lynn got knocked up makes me so sad. Seriously.. Britney and Jaime-Lynn's parents must be some of the worst parents EVER.
I'm just hoping someone, anyone will pop up and say, "Just kidding! No she ain't!"
@malabrigo: I fell the same, I really truly hope thats its all a big joke. That poor girl
@NOTSONICE: thats "feel". duh
@malabrigo: PREGNANT, that is. I'm hoping that she's not really pregnant. The Jack Daniel's is already getting to my brain.
and in four weeks Britney will announce her third pregnancy. "Me and Jamie-Lynn's babies gonna be best friends y'all!!"
@DrunkAndHorny: never minding the fact that it's HER body...
Peeps, this came out of tabloid magazine. It's probably false. So quit hyperventilating.
They should have just kept this quiet and had her get an abortion. For fucks sake, she is 16. And even keeping it, A MAGAZINE EXCLUSIVE???!!!
I called this family as trash back in Britney's glory days and got the "you must just be jealous" reply. Ha, am I a horrible person for feeling like....like I was so right on my character judgment?
Dear God,
I'm so sorry 'bout what I'm about to say, but you know this whole virgin till married, sex is bad bad bad, contraceptives are against the rules, etc etc etc - it all really fucking blows man. People use you as a justification to scare the shit out of kids about sex, abstinence only education prepares you for nothing, and yet when they mess up 'cause they were never really equipped 'cause people cite you and ignore hormones or whatevs. Anyways, when they mess, they are condemned.
Sorry for rambling, but I'm not quite agnostic yet, so please Baby Jesus, can we sort all this shit out?
KTHXBAI! - AMEN
This is awesome. I am so happy.
Seriously though, I was on birth control at 16, and so were most of my friends. It's like the knee-jerk perscription that doctors put you on for any 'womanly' complaint.
*mess up
if britney is not pregnant already, i bet you $20 she will be by friday
Also remember when Beyonce's little sis got pregnant at 17? She and the baby daddy got married, and subsequently divorced, but they kept it all very hush hush until long after the baby came. Much classier.
Ah this scares me. She's TWO YEARS younger than me. And she's keeping her kid?
Does she have a high school diploma? Probably not. Does she even go to school? Does Britney have a high school diploma, or a GED, or anything?
That family is messed up, and I feel bad for them.
i fucking love that family. What would we do without the Britney Spears family?