How Women's Television Is Just Like Sex And The City

Slate's TV columnist Troy Patterson parses the programming on the three women's television networks today, and, reading Patterson's descriptions of each lady network, I had to wonder: could the networks be categorized using the ultimate post-modern archetypes, Sex and the City characters? It is the Most Important Show of Our Time, after all. The answer I came up with?:Of course they can.

With its rude, slutty and unapologetic programming, Oxygen is clearly Samantha. Strippers fellating beer bottles, plastic surgery advocating Janice Dickinson and her modeling agency, and re-runs of Absolutely Fabulous just scream Samantha with their combination of glitter, foul mouths and trash. (Remember when Carrie caught Samantha blowing the UPS guy? Total Oxygen material.)



Wedding-obsessed WE: Women's Entertainment is Charlotte. WE has four shows devoted to the wedding-industrial complex: Bridezillas, Platinum Weddings, My Big, Fat Fabulous Wedding, and Rich Bride, Poor Bride. [Jesus. -Ed.] WE also reflects Charlotte's overwhelming sense of entitlement (of course she deserved a multimillion dollar Park Avenue apartment as compensation for a failed marriage!). Of WE's newest offering, Party Mama$, Patterson opines, the level of entitlement has "previously [been] seen only on MTV's My Super Sweet 16".

Finally, Lifetime, the old guard of women's television channels, is Carrie. Lifetime has a serious side, like Carrie, with its made-for-TV movies about "terminal diseases and/or children in peril." But, as Patterson says, Lifetime is "quaint and mildly daffy," with its Will & Grace reruns and embrace of psychics. Just like Carrie, who enjoys a "mildly daffy" pun, loves hanging out with her main gay Stanford, and is always wearing those mystical head wraps!

But whither Miranda? Where's the kind of judgmental, career woman-oriented programming? I guess Star Jones does have that show on Court TV, and Miranda does say the phrase "I'm a lawyer," at least once per episode, but it's not really a perfect match. Television executives take note! A major hole in lady viewing must be filled post-haste!

Who's the Fairest of Them All?: A comparison of all of the women's television network [Slate]

Earlier: Bad Girls Club: Stripper Mom and Porn Star Have Threesome With Dude