The Golden Globe Nominees: No Hookers, But Lots Of Victims

As you may have heard, Hollywood icon Shirley MacLaine once asserted that the best parts for actresses always fall into the category of hooker, victim or doormat. Sometimes an actress wins an award, like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, for playing all three at once! Well, now that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association has announced the nominees for the 2008 Golden Globe Awards, we wondered: what kinds of roles are women getting the nod for this year? We break it down, after the jump. (Also, we haven't seen all of these movies or TV shows, so feel free to disagree.)

Film:

  • Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth: The Golden Age: Cate plays the Queen of England, who is not really a victim. But she's in love with Sir Walter Raleigh (Clive Owen) and she can't have him, because, duh, she's Queen. Verdict: OK!
  • Julie Christie, Away From Her: Woman with Alzheimer's who "forgets" husband. Verdict: Victim
  • Jodie Foster, The Brave One: Strong woman who goes on a vigilante killing spree after her fiance is killed. Verdict: Victim
  • Angelina Jolie, A Mighty Heart: Woman loses husband in Pakistan! Verdict: Victim
  • Keira Knightley, Atonement: Girl falls in love with housekeeper's son, then tragically loses him. Verdict: Victim
  • Amy Adams, Enchanted: Cartoon princess in real world falls in love with real boy, fish-out-of-water hijinx ensue. She's basically a damsel in distress! Verdict: Victim
  • Nikki Blonsky, Hairspray: Campy teenager dances against segregation! Funny! Verdict: OK!
  • Helena Bonham Carter, Sweeney Todd: Helps Sweeney Todd seek bloody revenge. Bloody blood blood blood. Verdict: OK!
  • Marion Cotillard, La Vie En Rose: Edith Piaf rises from street performer to international star. Verdict: OK!
  • Ellen Page, Juno: Pregnant teen seeks adoption parents. Verdict: OK!

Television:

  • Patricia Arquette, Medium: Psychic solves mysteries. Verdict: OK!
    Glenn Close, Damages: Ruthless litigator with a bulldog approach. Verdict: OK!
  • Minnie Driver, The Riches: Modern gypsy grifter slash drug addict. Verdict: Victim-ish
  • Edie Falco , The Sopranos: Carmela is complicated but often gets stepped on. Verdict: Victim, Doormat
  • Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters: Nora Walker is the matriarch of a complicated family of a adult children. Verdict: OK!
  • Holly Hunter, Saving Grace: Alcoholic law enforcement lady with a guardian angel. Verdict: Victim
  • Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer: Police chief solves cases with her intuition and ability to read people. Verdict: OK!
  • Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?: A woman suffers from amnesia and is forced to find out who she really is. Verdict: Victim
  • America Ferrera, Ugly Betty: Plucky yet unfashionable assistant at a fashion magazine works hard and overcomes obstacles. Verdict: OK!
  • Tina Fey, 30 Rock TV show head writer deals with crazy actors, boss. Verdict: OK!
  • Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies: Chuck, once dead and now brought back to life by her childhood sweetheart, can't touch him or she'll die again. Meanwhile, they solve mysteries together. Verdict: Victim, the dude has all the power!
  • Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds: Suburban mom turns into a pot dealer after her husband dies and she's in financial dire straits. Verdict: OK!

The bad news: 21 roles, 9 victims. The good news: No hookers!

Hollywood Foreign Press Association