Live Blogging ANTM's Finale: Ike Turner Died, But His Hair Lives On In Saleisha's Weave


So is Saleisha gonna take this thing tonight like we've been speculating? I fucking hope not—if only because it would just seem like too big a plug for Tyra's "self-esteem" camp T-Zone. The thing is, though, I don't really care if Jenah or Chantal win. So it's like whatevs. Oh, but are we even gonna find out who wins tonight? According to this E! News article, no, we're not:

[Twiggy's] been with ANTM since Cycle Five, when she replaced Janice Dickinson. Although Cycle Nine has finished taping, Twiggy will be there for the live finale in January, when another lucky catwalker is crowned.
January!?!? What!? Anyway, let's do this.

9:00 And I'm done! Now, on to Crowned.

8:58 Chantal said that this "just wasn't meant to be" for her. This isn't the way she's supposed to "make it." Of course. Because Tyra is God, and she determines everyone's destiny.

8:57 America's Next. Top. Model. Is...Duh. Friggin' Saleisha.

8:55 I'm pissed that they didn't go over the girls' portfolios more. I enjoy the retrospective.

8:52 I love how Tyra teaches girls that if someone falls several feet onto their face, don't help them up. KEEP WALKING.

8:49 Dodai hopes that they pull the winner's photo out of Miss J.'s afro.

8:46 Awwwwwwww shit! hahahahahahahaha. Loling my face off that the guy on stilts fell from Chantal's dress. Also, what's up with their coke nails?

8:44 I love that Tyra & Co. walked in there like they were royalty. Tyra is the empress natch. "Walk for me, I say!"

8:36 When the girls asked Jaslene how she was at her final challenge, and she said in her deaf voice, "Oh my God, you guys, I had to go to the bathroom to cr..." I was really hoping she'd say "crap."

8:33 As busted as Jenah's face can sometimes be, I CANNOT believe that Chantal beat her to the final two! Seriously! Now I sort of hope Chantal wins, just so the retardation is brought all the way through.

8:31 GASP! Chantal!?!?!?!?!?!?

8:26 Tyra loves when girls cry. But only when they explain their damaged pasts.

8:25 Jenah, you do have to be rainbows incessantly if you wanna work with Tyra and her merry band of drag queens.

8:22 Tyra is such a bitch for saying that Saleisha pronounces "thing" incorrectly as "theeng." I've actually noticed that Tyra says heel instead of hill. When Lauren Conrad was on her show, she kept saying, "The Heels."

8:20 The girls really hate Jenah, wow. I love that Chantal said she didn't want her little sister to look up to Jenah, when just last week, Jenah cried, saying that she wanted to be a role model for her little sisters.

8:18 OK, does anyone remember the movie Boomerang, when Eddie Murphy's ad agency made a really sexually explicit commercial for lipstick that involved fruit? Yeah, that's what is going on with Wet Slick Fruit Spritzer.

8:11 Ugh! Jay just said to Jenah, "I'm afraid that people will read your insecurity as being bitchy." That's funny Jay, 'cause I read your bitchiness as insecurity.

8:10 Wet Slick Fruit Spritzer sounds like flavored lube.

8:07 You know, Heather would not have been the first model with a disability to win, because Jaslene was. Bitch is so deaf.

8:06 Ew. Did anyone else notice how dirty Jenah's feet are?