In an essay from today's Salon, staffer Sarah Hepola laments the tyranny of her enormous ta tas, a size which she calls "34 ridiculous". "I am embarrassed by my knockers," Hepola writes. "And the fact that something I am embarrassed about is the first thing people notice about me? Well, that kinda sucks. I feel like I could save a baby from a burning building, I could cure cancer with glitter alone, and I would still be referred to as 'Sarah, you know, the short one with the big tits.'"
Sadly, Hepola is so terrified to go bra shopping that she puts it off for years. And although her trips to NYC bra meccas Town Shop and Orchard Corset were successful in that she found bras that fit, they didn't exactly make her feel like a sex goddess — most of the bras looked like they could be used to "parachute out of a plane."