Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

Still not finished with the Christmas shopping? We're already 3 days into Hannukah! Before you light that fourth candle tonight, check out the random "gifts" Bloomingdale's has to offer: Burberry bags, ear muffs by Ugg and a $13,000 jacket. Let's go shopping, after the jump!

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

Oh, dear. When is this ever appropriate? Fur with fur rosettes? My, my, my. (Natural chinchilla stole with black cashmere and chinchilla rosette trim, $6,500)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

So maybe they stole the padlock idea from YSL, but you've got to love that lock looking straight outta Home Depot; it's like a mix of common and posh, lowbrow and highbrow, working class and upper class. Or just, you know, shiny. (Furla satchel, $515)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

Eh, not sure. The gray is nice, but top to bottom it's kind of like, fug, fugger and fuggest, especially at these prices. (Burberry "Shimmer Check" collection in cotton/Lurex with leather trim: key pouch, $95; mini doctor's bag, $295; tote, $395)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

Oh, hey. Yeah, that's my boyfriend! Yawn, I see him like this all the time. (W Hotel robe, $125)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

Yes to the tote bag and the ice cream maker; no to the ear muffs; ixnay on the Uicy-jay. (Harajuku Lovers tote, $68; Cuisinart soft serve ice cream maker, $99; Ugg ear muffs, $75; Juicy Couture gloves, $55)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

Can even the most cynical among you admit that the Vera Wang Princess bottle is really kind of adorable? (Vera Wang Truly Pink, $87; Vera Wang Princess, $68; Vera Wang Eau de Parfum, $87)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

New fashion trend: Florence Nightingale chic! (Ellen Tracy capelet sweater, $328; turtleneck, $298)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

Dudes, a note: Chances are a $95 T-shirt, massage oil or cartoon-y messenger bag is is not what she wants. The bag is cute, though. (Tory Burch tees, $95; Agent Provocateur Ménage à Trois massage oil, $60; Tokidoki for LeSportSac bag, $160)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

Juicy is such a fucking rip off. How do they get away with it? And it's one thing for Kim Kardashian to rock it, but when innocent children get involved, someone needs to step up and step in. (Juicy Girl hoodie, $110; pants, $92; long-sleeve tee, $62)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

This woman appears to be constructed from a single tongue depressor. (Calvin Klein bra, $26; yoga pants, $49; robe, $75)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

My boyfriend looked better in the Barneys catalog. (Spanish shearling jacket, $1,495)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

Hey, black model! And hey, expensive jacket! (Lamb bolero with dyed fox trimmed sleeves, $13,000)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

These Betsey Johnson pieces are delightfully tacky. (Necklace, $50; bracelet, $45)

Bloomingdale's "Gifted": Overpriced Brand Names R Us

"¿Donde estan mis pantalones?" (Free people hat, $58; scarf, $48; "snowed in" henley, $98; pompom socks, $28)

Earlier: Doctors Foster & Smith: The Crazy Cat Lady Catalog
J. Crew's "Very Merry Gift Guide"
The Vermont Country Store: For Old Alcoholics & The Kids Who Enable Them
Bergdorf Goodman: My Kingdom For A Fountain Pen
Barneys New York: Shiny Happy People & Crazy Expensive Clothes