The worst part about child beauty pageants aren't the whored-up little girls—it's the moms who do it to them. The best part about child beauty pageants are the titles that are given out, like "Star National Star Grande Supreme," and the names of the actual pageants. On the E! special Pageant Moms Unleashed, little girls (and their moms) competed in the Magical Dream World Pageant, which sounds like it should be comprised of sugar and spice and things that are nice, but, uh, no. In fact, it's held in the conference room of some cheap hotel, on a stage that's made of two by fours covered in flame-retardant carpet. In the clip above, a gay man with manicured eyebrows named Mr. Mykel coaches a group of little girls into "winning" mediocre titles in the event, and a group of moms rip apart another little girl's "performance." They didn't like her beauty. Yeah, they really said that.