With the Thanksgiving holiday last week, there weren't too many new episodes of the lady talk shows, but somehow Tyra Banks still managed to pull it off. She had two pretty magnificent episodes: One was about the relationship between sex and race, and the other was an "experiment" on inner beauty. The experiment involved Tyra giving some "ugly" girls a makeover and then took those girls' "pretty" friends, put prosthetic noses and warts on their faces and then took them to the mall. That's it. Absolutely fucking brilliant though. Oprah of course had her Favorite Things, which we loved. And then The View delivered one of my favorite things to happen on daytime TV: Barbara Walters explained the idea of vibrators to Sherri Shepherd. Clip above, and after the jump, take a look at the show topics that Tyra has planned for the rest of the season, and see if you wanna be on one of them.
These are for real, no bullshit topics that Tyra is cooking up for this season, and she's looking for people to appear on the show with these issues. First up, something that I'm sure is very close to TyTy's heart:
IS MY BEHAVIOR NORMAL?
"Do you do unusual things or have unusual behavior that the people in your life just don't understand? Do they want you to stop whatever it is that you're doing? Does someone in your life have unusual behavior and you can't make any sense of it? Do you or someone you know do very funny, unusual things that don't make any sense to you? Are you obsessed with something and it's taking over your life? Is this obsession ruining your relationships? Is your wife obsessed with celebrities and being one and you can't take it anymore? Is someone in your life obsessed with wearing a certain color everyday and you want them to get help? Does someone in your life call you more than 10 times a day, everyday and they don't have much to say? Does someone close to you hold on to everything, and refuse get rid of anything at all? Do you or someone you know constantly burst out into song, at any given moment in the day, for no reason and you want it to stop? Do you think your dog is more human than canine and you treat it like it's a person? Are you a food weirdo and have a hard time eating specific foods? Does someone in your life constantly lie about everything and you can't take it anymore? Is your husband obsessed with collecting toys and you want him to stop?"
It should also add:
"Do you roll around on the floor in front of celebrities while wearing a 45 lb wig that ultimately makes you weigh 206 lbs?"
IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TYRA TO TEACH YOU HOW TO DO?
"Do you have a shopping, dining or travel question that you'd like to ask Tyra? Do you want Tyra to teach you her tricks on how to make your eyes look bigger, your butt look more shapely, on how to decorate your house, throw a cocktail party on a budget and so much more? Do you have a relationship question for Tyra like how to break up with a boyfriend or do you wait for him to say 'I love you' first?"
Yes, yes, 1000 times yes! I want Tyra to teach me lots of things. Where the hell do I even begin? I'm signing up for this today.
DOES YOUR WORKSPACE OR OFFICE NEED A "TAILORED BY TYRA" MAKEOVER?
Yes, actually, desperately it does. I bought some Ikea furniture and tried to set up a little office for myself, but I never work there, because it's too far away from the TV. I think I've only sat in this chair once.
This is where I really work. On a couch surrounded by clutter and PopTart wrappers.
Please give my workstation a makeover. (And a weave.)
P.S. Sorry I make fun of you all the time.