Will Your Marriage Last? Vintage Chart Tells All!

An Associate Professor of Social Economy at Bryn Mawr named Hornell Hart, created a chart — printed in the October 1927 issue of Popular Science — which predicts one's chances for marital happiness using "a new scientific method." The chart (pictured after the jump) is based on the age of the groom and the age of the bride. Hart used "four authoritative investigations" — a study of 100 divorce cases; confidential statements from 1000 women, 116 of whom said their marriages were unhappy; an investigation of "child marriages"; and lastly, an analysis of 1000 marriages done by Hart himself — 500 of which "had reached such difficulties that they had appealed to the Domestic Relations Court." From all of this information, Hart made a graph that predicts the outcome of a marriage based on the ages of the bride and groom.

It will not surprise you to find out that the optimal area, marked with the letter A — is when the bride is between 23 and 29 and the groom is between 25 and 34. But not to worry! If you're slightly older, you may fall in the L section: "Good prospect, although they waited too long."


Britney Spears was 23 and Kevin Federline was 26 when they wed, putting them right in the A for "ideal" zone! Meanwhile, Tom Cruise was 44 when he married 27 year old "Kate" Holmes, landing the couple in the area marked K: "May succeed if otherwise unusually well matched." Eva Longoria, 32, tied the knot with Tony Parker, 25, and occupies the T zone: "May succeed if otherwise adapted." Catherine Zeta-Jones married Michael Douglas when she was 31 and he was 56 and we think that's a K, "May succeed." The ages only go as high as 50, so Kevin Costner and Larry King are literally off the charts!

In any case, you probably knew this already but it's worth repeating: If you're a woman over 33, you're fucked. Guys have until they're 38. Happy trails!

Will Your Marriage Last? Vintage Chart Tells All!

YOUR CHANCES FOR HAPPINESS
Here is the key: A—Ideal. B—Not so ideal; if in doubt wait year or two. C—Risky; wait a few years. D—Very dangerous; both far too young. E—Exceedingly dangerous; wait. F—Divorce probable. G—A little less hazardous than F. H—Girl far too young; foolhardy unless otherwise excellently suited. I—Good chance if otherwise well mated. J—Suffering and divorce likely. K—May succeed if otherwise unusually well matched. L—Good prospect, although they waited too long. M—Fair chance. N—Hardly a chance. O—Both far too young; wait at least four years. P—Man too young; wait year or two. Q—Good chance. R—Very slim chance. S—Slim chance. T—May succeed if otherwise adapted. U—Age difference too great; almost hopeless. V—A little less hopeless than U. In every case, white area is safest; dark, most hazardous

Chart Tells When To Marry [Modern Mechanix]