We Got Baby Lakshmi's Back, Blogger Bitches!

Welcome back to Missdemeanors, where we issue a virtual spanking to the internet's most popular bloggers for their crimes against Womanity. Yeah, so, maybe we're just tired and jaded, but we had a hard time being offended this week. And we tried. Really. Hard. But Jenny and Todd didn't even get under our skin, except, of course when we read Jenny's love note in last week's comment. Stop girl! You're making us blush. Anyway, The Wang from The Superficial, Brendan from What Would Tyler Durden Do?, and Rian from The Skinny still pissed us off, luckily. Bonus: We got a head shot of one of them! Read on!



The Charge: Faternizing
The Accused: Occasionally funnty but mostly aggressively annoying Karl Wang from The Superficial.
The Evidence: "Nothing ruins a good boner more than the natural blemishes of a woman. Although that's not really an issue with Kim Kardashian since nobody's looking at anything but her bulbous ass anyway."
Points for Good Behavior: This was really the only thing that pissed us off this week on the Superficial so either we're being less cunty or Wang is cleaning up his act. We hope it's the latter, because Jenny from I Don't Like You In That Way finds our cuntiness undeniably attractive.
The Sentence: Free on $150 bail (the cash value of this pair of shoes we really want) - watch yourself, Karl!


The Charge: Being Admittedly Racist/Fucking With A Minor
The Accused: Vaguely evil Brendan from What Would Tyler Durden Do?.
The Evidence: "Based on my awesome level of racism, I assumed they [Indians] would love that stuff [Eight limbed Baby Lakshmi] over there. Cows are like superheroes to them, so you would think a kid who looks just like one of their gods would be cause for celebration. Like if a Christian had a kid with wings. They must not have heard of baseball because this kid would be super rich."
Points For Good Behavior: Honestly sometimes we laugh a little at Brendan's jokes, when they're not wholly offensive. Seriously, we do have a great sense of humor. But when a guy's potentially ironic, tongue in cheek brand of offensive humor inspires commentators like DB's Treasure who says, "This gives a whole new meaning to Circle Jerk..." we think he's definitely causing more harm than good.
The Sentence: Is there a reader out there that knows how to remotely crash a guy's server and total his car at the same time?


The Charge: Murder
The Accused: Rian from The Skinny who is seriously killing us slowly.
The Evidence: "Mandy Moore seems to have suddenly put on some extra weight...For a while there several months ago, she was looking really good. I wonder what happened?"
Points for Good Behavior: Okay, first of all Mandy Moore is insanely gorgeous. Second of all, we must applaud Rian's extremely talented ability to convey stomach wrenching nausea with just a few simple words - because you know Mandy Moore's implied fat ass makes her dry heave. Third, and we have sat with this for the last week wondering if we should post this because we desperately wanted to but didn't want to be mean assholes, but fuck it, we are. So yeah, for those of you who lay awake at night like we did, wondering what a girl as obviously fat hating as Rian looked like, here's your answer.
The Sentence: That photo, filed in her own site's "curvy" category. The horror!