We had heard that Elisabeth Hasselbeck wasn't an insane Republican Jesus freak before she married into the Hasselbeck clan. We were skeptical, because she seems too scary to have just picked up these habits within the past decade, but after reading the profile today's Boston Globeon EH's mother-in-law, Betsy Hasselbeck (wait, does this mean that Tim Hasselbeck's wife and mother are both named Elisabeth?) we are sure of it: The Hasselbecks are definitely running some sort of a cult. Maybe Elisabeth was actually a nice normal girl before she got involved with them! Because Betsy is scary. When her husband Don played tight end for the New England Patriots, she apparently implemented a nightly practice regime for him where he had to catch 500 passes in a row in their backyard. Miss one in the last 100? Start all over again. Just like Jesus would have done?
If there's anything more important to the family Hasselbeck than football, it is Jesus. Betsy, with a retired husband and the children off playing pro-ball, has devoted herself to running "workshops for current Pats players and their wives. The workshops focus on faith, marriage, and family" since Hasselbeck fears that without her instruction, these men and their wives might turn towards the Devil's ways: "We live in an upgrade world where temptation and fame can threaten any marriage. What we're trying to do is teach [couples] how to strengthen their marriages and commitment to God."
Betsey's faith has also propelled her towards her other project: Doing whatever she can to stop perverts from coaching youth sports. "I was lucky, because Don was our boys' coach for nine years. But I thought, OK, if I've been placed here for a reason, it's to help people. This is one way I can give something back," says Betsy, despite the fact that "breakout figures are not available for young athletes, [and only] anecdotal evidence suggests [that children] are especially vulnerable to predator coaches." Good to know that if you are placed on this earth to do some good, it's for a cause that you've pulled out of your ass!
But before you start make assumptions at Betsy Hasselbeck, be sure to know this: "We've never cared about labels," she says, in regards to identifying the specifics of their Christianity. Good to know! It's always refreshing to meet a prostelytizer who can understand that expressions of faith need no names! Elisabeth Hasselbeck sure lucked out marrying into this family — the woman couldn't have asked for a better teacher on preaching her overly-simplified ways of thinking.
Extra Points [Boston Globe]