Mindfuck alert! Yesterday a commenter alerted us to the existence of the Candidate Matcher, a little online quiz that figures out, on the basis of your answers to a few big political questions, who your ideal candidate is. But here's the catch! The quiz doesn't ask about abortion. Man, do you ever fantasize about living in an electorate that didn't feel compelled to devote 90% of its attention to the legality and regulation of a single medical procedure? Wherein people could give equal thought to issues like, you know, the war and health care and drug policy and the tax code and uhhhhhhhhhmmmmm... Have you hit "play" on this video yet? It's very quiet; your co-workers won't notice; it's almost like watching fine art. It's a campaign ad for Mike Gravel, the candidate most popular among the Jezebels according to the quiz. He came in #1 for me, and Dodai, and Jennie, and number three for Jessica and Tracie.

Attention Slutty Anxious Female Voters! Meet Your Ideological Love Match, Mike Gravel

The only one of us without any love for the Alaskan senator was the Anonymous Lobbyist, but that's probably because she's a tool of the Military Industrial Complex or Big Pharma or something else she could tell us about but...

Yeah, it's a pretty insane campaign ad, right? Joe Biden came in second on the collective Slutty Anxious Female demo, but Gravel is clearly wayyyy more awesome. For the record, Obama was my #3. After Sam Brownback! Oh come on, take it already: this commercial is not going to get any more coherent.