An article in the generally ridiculous British tabloid The Sun gives ladies advice on how to have "good ex-iquette" — i.e., how to handle an old flame with grace. Sex scribe Emily Dubberley insists that being friends with an ex is possible if you do things like avoid drunk dialing, "have self-respect", "be nice to his new girlfriend", and don't "be a bunny boiler" which apparently is some random UK slang for total psycho. Her last bit of advice may be the only part that makes sense: "It can be easy to fall into the trap of trying anything to stay close to your ex, but this isn't generally healthy. If staying in contact is messing up his life, or yours, don't be afraid to walk away." Because isn't staying friends with an ex is a near-impossible task if you ever really loved them?
Of course, if there are children or pets involved, you kind of have to suck up your feelings and remain civil for the sake of your shared responsibility (see the train wreck that is the Mills/McCartney divorce for how not to act). But if you've emerged from a relationship without any warm-blooded dependents, what's the point of staying friends? Seems like people who stay bff with their exes are either a) still smitten and trying to get back together, b) totally masochistic, or c) reasonably narcissistic and fluffing their egos with the idea that their exes are still in love with them. (When we've made an effort to stay friends with someone we had deep feelings for, we'd end up calling them all wastey at 3 in the morning and telling them how much we missed "us." Yeah, not so healthy.) Some people manage to remain civil acquaintances with exes, but is it possible to maintain a non-dysfunctional super close relationship with someone after you've lost that loving feeling?
How To Have Good Ex [The Sun]