Ever dated someone from OK Cupid? It's that dating site where you can take all sorts of quizzes about geography and religion and your personality and whatever. You can continue answering personality questions for years and years in hopes of finding an evermore "compatible" mate, but when most normal dudes who aren't getting laid spend that much time on the internet they're using it for porn, so let that be a lesson to you as it was for Sandy, who met, ahem, "Zachary" on OK Cupid and dated him fairly regularly — twice a week they'd see one another — for two months. On paper, they were 91% compatible — for the record, I was only 71%, THANK GOD — but anyway, in real life, Sandy just wasn't feeling it. Maybe she should have taken it as a warning that his profile said he had a really horrible feeling in his gut "a month before Katrina"? No, I mean, it obviously didn't work because she had no emotions, according to a Gchat conversation — it's like an email, only more like free verse poetry! — they shared after she broke the news.
me: I was working things out in my head. I'm sorry.
Zachary: or you were trying to find the most polite way to say it
me: Not that there's anything wrong with being polite, but no.
I was trying to figure out what was going on
And now that I've figured it out, I've said it. I'm not having fun anymore.
Zachary: actually politeness is very useful at formal occasions
or when talking to strangers
me: Politeness and honesty are not mutually exclusive
And I try to be polite to people I respect
Zachary: that's what they teach but it's typically reserved for fucking statespeople or people who you are to automatically respect like static-wise
it's not organic
because organic respect is something that fluctuates it doesn't remain constant and also what you did was not respectful trying to whitewash something or sugar-coat it is not respectful to me
im speaking my mind
im expressing myself with EMOTIONS as long as ive known you you havent so much as raised yr voice about anything
so i had to subvert my own intensity when i was with you because i sure as hell didnt feel comfortable about showing them
and i thought that it might change overtime as we got to know each other better and i saw a lot of potential you're a really smart girl
s there anything in particular you'd have liked to see me raise my voice about?
that's the point
and i'm not asking anything of you
so if you want to sit here and read that's up to
so as i was saying i thought that might improve over time
that you would become more open and comfortable with yourself
you know what
this isnt worth it
5:16 PM just dont be surprised if you have a nervous breakdown within the next 3 year due to immense repression.
From: Zachary K < email@example.com>
Date: Nov 2, 2007 10:37 AM
Subject: childish and petulant?
At least I have a fucking pulse. Have a nice domestic stupor.