Forget The Sex Tape: Amy Fisher Needs A Shrink

Because, apparently, there is an insatiable market for sex tapes of people I barely know/don't want to see naked, Amy Fisher and her on-again-off-again husband have one about to come on the market. If you take their story at face value, the shitpoke husband in question sold the tape while he and Amy were separated because he was pissed at her for, among other things, dating Joey Buttafuoco again. But, now they're back together, she's learning to forgive and he feels really, really bad. What the fuck ever! Amy, first off, bad relationship choices are why the rest of us go to therapy! It's really good, I promise. You can cry in the middle of the day and talk endlessly about yourself and that's the point! And, second off, learn to masturbate and/or get yourself a decent guy. Neither one of these clowns deserves to get laid ever again. Practice this gesture in the mirror until you are comfortable with it... and then show it to your husband as you're showing him the door. [Gawker]