Washington D.C. takes a lot of shit for being full of single women and short, unattractive nerds who spend all their time working and talking politics- but if this is what the pretty girls in LA think is worth spreading their legs for, I have to wonder: what the hell are you ladies thinking? Do women everywhere screw men like this? Or does it just happen in LA? This is who you'll meet at a party at the Playboy Mansion? Honestly, if this is any kind of good example of my dating options outside of DC, I say: all hail the short, the ugly, the overly-intellectual and the workaholic! Long live the men who can't get enough women to sleep with them to sleep around! Bring on the men who think that their boss turns you on and that the details of how a bill became a law counts as foreplay! Want to know why? I was "introduced" to Glamour magazine blogger and formerAlyssa-sexer Mike Cherico . Follow me into the abyss, after the jump.
Cherico annoys me. A lot. He's an admitted narcissist, a serial-dater, a commitment-phobe and seemingly an all-around bad boyfriend. Just because a man admits that he's an asshole doesn't make him endearing- it makes him aware of his assholery, sure, but if he does nothing to change it, he's still an asshole. And, yet, despite all his many, many bad qualities and his middling looks (especially for LA) the man apparently gets ass like no body's business. So, as a public service, let me demonstrate why the man shouldn't get laid again.
- First off, he accepts and embraces the nickname "Edgy English Teacher," which, ew. Also, he hints that it's because he likes the non-vanilla sex- which, please, a little spanking and light bondage does not make you edgy, dude (because I think we all know that that's the extent of the man's kinks).
- He also considers it edgy that he's a dick to people, including his girlfriends. Being a dick doesn't make you "edgy," it makes you immature. And probably insecure.
- Also, no one legitimately edgy puts on a Boba Fett costume and poses with a bunch of dudes for Halloween.
- He takes pictures of himself with women he just met, and then puts one in a post when he talks about the other 2 girls he went out with that night. Classy.
- He posts pictures (and again) of the clothes that women leave at his place after fucking him.
- His ex's friends call him "jerk boy." This is never a good sign.
- He told a woman he loved her when he didn't mean it and than explicitly took it back. Is he 12?
- Also, a week later he blogged that he'd decided they made better friends. Who wants to bet on whether he told her before he wrote it?
I could go on, and on, and on, but now I feel icky. Read for yourself . It's like a guide to what not to date. Plus, if he stops getting dates, then he'd probably have to stop blogging, so you'd be helping both my eyes and the gene pool! It's a win-win scenario!
See Alyssa Date [Glamour]