Science Way Less Accurate Than Astrology, O Finds

Astrology has a scientific basis in FACT! That's what a story in the November O: The Oprah Magazine claims anyway. Basically the way you are can maybe kind of be explained by the amount of sunlight to which you were exposed in the womb, in addition to three trillion other variables they learned about from watching rats. The story explains that if you were born in spring and early summer you are more likely to be dyslexic, suicidal and anorexic whereas you're more likely to be schizophrenic if you're born in the late winter, which jives with "think-outside-the-box" Aquarius and "foot-fixated Taurus." Okay, but let's get to the important part i.e. how this affects us.

People born in the fall have been found to be more likely to develop panic disorder and/or drug abuse problems.
Which sounds kind of enlightening, though it fails to explain why Virgos get all the panic attacks and Libras get all the liver disease, but we found a fatal flaw to the underlying logic at play here!

After all, if we accept this hypothesis, do we thereby discount the 100% accurate relationship compatibility analyses given by leading Australian astrologer Milton Black, based on the fact that he lives in Australia?? Where, you know, Libras are born in the EARLY SPRING?? (Including Anna's fiancee Paul, who is, incidentally, way more of an alcoholic than a schizophrenic.) (Oh come on Anna, like I think that's a bad thing.)

What's Your Sign? (No, Seriously) [O Magazine]