Virtuous Hackers Hijack Heidi, Various Coulters; Cheney Is Darth Vader To Barack Obama's Skywalker

Today rogue hackers appeared to have broken into the content management systems of the websites of controversial blondes Heidi Montag and Ann Coulter, but can we blame the hackers for the fact that Orlando Bloom just happened to have injured Ann's second cousin, or that Dick Cheney just outed Barack Obama as his eighth cousin? Turkey invading Iraq while Russia defends Iran, is any of that a hack? That email that showed up from Mitch McConnell's office orchestrating the smear campaign on the 12-year-old boy — could be a hack, too! I'll tell you one thing: Larry Craig protesting his innocence to Matt Lauer right now — someone hacked that guy's brain.

Maybe in their next life the hackers can help out the world's persecuted Buddhists, and anyone else who might be reduced to praying for peace.