Jenna Bush Hates Death Penalty, Eating Meat, Dad's Presidency

Jenna Bush is the subject of a really long slobbering Texas Monthly cover story next month that I read in the latest development in my months-long struggle with the notion that she could actually be a decent person who feels really bad about her dad fucking up the country/various others/etc. While the author is not exactly restrained in his campaign to prove to us how great she is, there are redeeming moments, starting with the reminder of the dramatic dinner table argument she had with her father over the execution Karla Faye Tucker. Turns out she is pro-life when it comes to the living humans! Also ateshay her athersfay's oliciespay...

She totally cares about black people.

There is a scene in which teaches her minority charter school students in Washington DC about apartheid and shit so that maybe one day when they grow up they will vote for people who will one day give the minorities of Washington DC the right to vote and assorted other welfare state like benefits.

She campaigned for her father in 2004 but mostly to make him look bad in front of reporters.

Subtext: maybe all that rampant lawbreaking stuff was "acting out" on behalf of the widespread suspension of civil liberties etc.? A thought!

Right around the she got called out for being "all noblesse with none of the oblige" out popped the oblige.

Also! She doesn't eat meat that isn't fish. Also: a big deal is made over how none of the small brown children she befriends really know who her dad is, and she asks them not to Google her which is probably not a very effective way of retaining her anonymity, and the whole thing is a little Tori Spelling auditioning for 90210, and maybe one day Jenna will also be disowned and broke or whatever, which would be interesting. She can't read the paper and starts crying talking about Bush and yeah, so it sort of seems like she's trying to do something about the family karma deficit. Maybe she had an affair with the pool boy?

Her fiance is a Republican but it's okay because he likes Dave Chappelle

And her dad wants them to elope which is about the only correct opinion he ever had.

Girl Gone Mild [Texas Monthly]