Something about my wide-eyed, fair-skinned appearance and hushed voice and demure demeanor has convinced everyone I know that I know nothing about doing the nasty. (I have been called the "Sandra Dee of Gawker Media" and Anna herself will not accept I am not a virgin.) So last night, I hit up the party marking the 5th Anniversary of NYC's Museum of Sex to learn a little bit more about getting off and getting off good. In addition to photographer Nikola Tamindzic, Jezebel's own resident Slut Machine and Fleshbot's dashing Dashiell came along for good measure, and I learned more than I ever thought I could know about things that have nothing to do with where babies come from. From S&M to foot fetishes to dildos in mail boxes, my and others' sexual education — a story in pictures — below.

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To AskS