How Does The Church Pay For All Those Boys It Molested? Evict The Nuns!

Ever wondered where the Catholic Church would find the six hundred sixty million bucks it has to pay all those little altar boys it raped and robbed the childhoods, ruined relationships with women of etc. etc.? Now you know: they're evicting nuns. Not priests! Zero priests!! Fucking geriatric, diabetic nuns. You see, because if they had just put out a little more often maybe we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place! Think this will help the Church win back some of the market share it's lost to Islam in the marketplace of "life philosophies for misogynists"? It better! Because while the evicted nuns have been forbidden to talk about it, it's not ingratiating them former sisters of Bethany.

"Look, a gag rule on three nuns! Holy mackerel!" said Diaz, 74, in the parking lot outside the convent. "They do this to the ones who've been around for 57 years? No wonder they don't get more vocations. Would you want to join?"
Heh, us? No. But remember how Anne Hathaway used to want to be one?

Yeah, she figured out pretty quickly that was a fucking stupid idea.

Nuns' Evictions Pose Perception Problem For Catholic Church [Washington Post]