Why I Feel Bad For Both Anita Hill And Clarence Thomas

Not infrequently do I find myself desperate to restore the early nineties. They played Pavement on the radio in the early nineties! And girls didn't dress so slutty. And on that note! This whole Anita Hill Clarence "Don't Call Me Isiah" Thomas rehashalon (Anita, above, was just on Good Morning America) is reminding me that a few things have changed for the better in the past sixteen years: namely, I have been sexually harassed. So have you! Sometimes it's amusing, sometimes plain creepy, but whatevs: we talk about it all the time. So we get what happened there. And I can finally pinpoint exactly why I feel bad for Clarence Thomas: because the man knows he is soooooo much less of a perv than Bill Clinton, and yet Clinton got away with it because he was both blacker than Clarence Thomas and not black at all. And it has tormented the shit out of him since. His weird pubic hair Coke can comment doesn't approach shit I've put up with on the job, much less the sexual hypocrisies haunting the Ted Haggards and Larry Craigs of this world, and yet!

He's just as vilified as those guys, without the weird sense of awe accorded those guys because, in being a black conservative, he's obviously just acting out some master-slave shit or whatever. So pardon me if I feel a twinge of empathy for the son of a bitch. In the past sixteen years we've had everyone from Bill O'Reilly to Kanye West to remind us in plain language the Republican party is fundamentally still one that tolerates — and panders to — the fear and resentment of black folks and other minorities, and that — over and above any substantial policy issue — is what has kept the country from uniting to truly preserve and perpetuate democracy in so many years of Republican leadership. So anyway, not sure where I'm going with all that, but I'd like to think that sixteen years later Clarence Thomas would not only be able to find chicks on Craigslist with whom to discuss his massive Coke can-sized wang or whatever, he might also be an independent thinker for that fact. And on a side note, no one would disbelieve Anita Hill. Who doesn't tolerate a little too much pubic hair talk on the job? And no one would get away with smearing her as incompetent: in passing the DC bar, after all, she accomplished something Hillary didn't.