Tyra has maybe redeemed herself: before we endured the 5-hour hell (yeah, you thought hell was other people? Just sign up for tickets to Tyra) that was the taping of her "What's Up Down There" episode, she interviewed Barack Obama in a show that just aired in which the Senator showcased his formidable range: Health care! Christy Turlington! Tyra's brother in Afghanistan! Tyra's failed singing career! Iraq! Tyra's mom! Jay-Z! Tyra getting embarrassed by Kimora Lee Simmons! And why Obama's daughter doesn't like to stay in hotels named Hilton. We'd say the appearance thoroughly underscores why Obama is now leads in Iowa — but Hillary's laugh probs had a bit to do with that as well...
5:56 p.m. Tyra brings out a basketball and makes Barack dribble or something. Was there a hoop? I missed it. I assume Senator hoops did not? And speaking of, where the fuck is Michael Jordan in all of this? He's a Chicago guy. Why is he always such a pussy politically? Okay, so Tyra proclaims it officially: Barack Obama is a "real person." I wonder if he was real enough to TALK TO THE AUDIENCE? Anyway she adds that she's no longer nervous in his presence! Then she mentions that anecdote about how she voted her first time with Christy Turlington again. I really wish she'd had all the nineties supermodels on the show, I bet supermodels actually fucking voted back then. OMG, think this is just the appetizer to the "polling station" edition of Top Model?? Anyway, it's over. Barack and Tyra are around the same height. I am honestly cold and hungry just watching that show.
4:51 p.m. Barack mentions how we're spending $271 million a day in Iraq. Tyra's a little glazed again, "Wait, how much?" That's more than Oprah makes in a whole year! Knowing that fifty minutes in means they've probably been taping for around four hours in a studio where the thermostat keeps the air roughly around the temperature of an ice rink, it makes sense that she's out of it. Also, she has the weave to worry about. But yo, that's a lot of money, huh?
5:44 p.m. This just in from Tracie: Apparently, in the context of talking about her mom, and how bad she felt for Barack Obama for not having one anymore because her mom had been with her "through all my successes and my failures," Barack asked Tyra, "So what have your failures been?" (Apparently he didn't know about "Shake Ya Body"!) But again, here we have Exhibit Z in how great this guy is: he is really listening to Tyra, he understands the full extent of how ridiculous she is, and he knows exactly how to appeal to it while coming off with this classic wryness.
5:41 p.m. Barack hesitates a little too much on the contents of his iPod, but makes up for it by mentioning Hova first.
5:39 p.m. Tyra asks if she can sleep over in the Lincoln bedroom like all those Buddhist monks and Norman Hsu or whatever during the Clinton administration. "It's really not that fancy," he tells her. "It's like an old bed." And the closet is way too small.
5:33 p.m. Midway through the show I have to wonder why the fuck Tyra won't just go ahead and endorse Obama. Is she afraid of alienating viewers who don't think he's as, like, "black" as Hillary?
5:30 p.m. Obama explains in about five years why we pay so much money for our shitty health care system. Tyra's eyes glaze over a bit.
5:26 p.m. Barack only smokes when he is writing.... Try liveblogging the VMAs! God I love him.
5:24 p.m. Tyra can "feel" when she looks in Obama's eyes that he is a good man.
5:23 p.m. Tyra is crying! She starts fanning herself with her manicured hands, prompting Barack to ask what exactly fanning yourself with your hands accomplishes. It's funny.
5:19 p.m. Tyra has a brother in Afghanistan. She's "never ever talked about it." Except a few times on Top Model and, you know, in interviews.
5:18 p.m. Tyra asks about the dark period during which Michelle and Barack were, like, not having sex or something. She asks if he could feel her anger when he hugged her or something. It's a kind of odd question, but yet another reason Tyra is better at interviewing way smarter people than herself than Martha.
5:16 Oh no he didn't! Barack disses Paris. His daughter won't stay in a Hilton!
5:09 p.m. Tyra is supposedly really nervous, but I'll give her this: she's, like, 1000% better under pressure than Martha.
5:08 p.m. The first date story. Barack has a sorta misty look in his eye talking about his first date with Michelle, during which they ate ice cream on a curb and made out. "She tasted like chocolate."
5:07 p.m. "Your family reunions look like Margaret Thatcher all the way to Bernie Mac!"
5:05 p.m. Tyra has met Barack Obama before, the first time at some fancy event where Kimora Lee Simmons embarrassed her by getting all up in Barack's face and acting ghetto.
5:01 p.m. So it turns out Tyra voted in 1992. She was 18 then. Since then the consumer price index has risen disproportionately in the hairweave industry.