Heidi And Spencer's Tiffany Registry Is Only The Tip Of Our Melting Arctic Absurdity Iceberg

It was a "You think you know, but you have no idea" sort of day. For instance, I thought there was nothing classier than Rudy Giuliani's suggested $9.11 campaign donations, but then I saw Heidi and Spencer's wedding registry. Turns out there's actually a pair of salt and pepper shakers out there that'll set you back $425! Of course, for that price buy a laptop for yourself and some African school children, along with a $200 tax deduction, but really, what would be the point. The global labor redistribution/living-standard arbitrage behind the first American auto workers strike in three decades and the first Gucci store in India ever will just churn inexorably on; blah blah.

Intelligent women will continue to submit themselve to oh good god another slutty photo shoot for the sake of fame and career advancement; brave dissidents in poor countries you might never think to give a fuck about will continue to risk their lives to show up in holy-shit numbers and march for that nebulous privilege we call the "freedom" to listen to Ahmadinejad and O'Reilly and Chavez and assorted other charming lunatics who on a daily basis challenge the relevance of the Onion. And we have no idea what will become of the brave slutty-dressing civil disobedients of Saudi Arabia, which isn't as great for women as Iran; perhaps they'll be burned at the stake? And yeah, the terrorists will keep winning.