Why America Should Be Thankful Those Nice Cops Didn't Send Star Simpson Straight To The Morgue

Have you heard the one about the crazyhair Hawaiian who went to Boston Logan Airport with a bunch of play-doh in her hands and a bomby-looking thing strapped to her hoodie that she said was just an art project but then she turned out to be totally smart enough to make an actual bomb? Yeah, we weren't sure what to make of the whole thing either, except for like, "Star Simpson," what a name; and um, the Massachusetts state police really aren't taking any measures not to sound like they've been overdosing on anabolic steroids, have they? (And also, is this prank more or less funny if she was aware that two al Qaeda camp alums actually hijacked a Turkish plane using a fake bomb that turned out to be play-doh last month?) So anyway, we were wondering to ourselves, she's probs not against us, but is she with us? Do we care? And then we read about Star's latest project at MIT on her online resume:

MIT Media Lab, Personal Robots Group Spring 2007

Worked to construct and deploy the first Autom, a socially-interacting robot designed to encourage people to meet their weight loss goals by tracking and encouraging their efforts. This project became the company Intuitive Automat

Okay, she's so with us. Call us when you get out of custody, Star! We've got ten pounds that a videographer who would love to film a robot help us shed. Though if you really want to do a service to your country, call Britney Spears!

Fake Bomber Has An MIT Web Page (That Hasn't Been Accessible Since Radar Put This Damn Story Up)