Welcome to "Blushing Snides," a regular Jezebel beauty and makeup feature that will probably change names when we think of something less completely retarded. Our first installment was inspired by Moe's impassioned defense of red lipstick over nudes and the various "spermy" tones, which triggered a small commenter outcry and prompted Jezebel's two foremost product connoisseurs, BiscuitDoughJones and LoMorale, to privately express their dissent. "It's a lie perpetuated by the insidious cosmetic industry that everyone looks good in red lipstick! They don't!" said Dough, herself a makeup artist. "And, oh god, SO NINETIES," added Lo. After much deliberation it was agreed that red lipstick can work only if a few common pitfalls are avoided. And by a "few," we mean a lot. After the jump, Lo & Dough's Six Most Common Lipstick Fuckups, from "Retrodiculous" to "Brick Whorehouse," as told through the faux smiles of Gwen, Posh, Christina Aguilera and more of your favoritest celebs!
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