Live Blogging America's Next Top Model Menstrual Cycle 9

I've had to suffer through four of my own menstrual cycles waiting for this latest cycle of Top Model and now the day is finally here! Much like with the first day of one of my cycles, I'm like ready to poop all over the place. (And so is Tyra, if you see this picture.) Anyway, pack your bags, y'all, we're going to the Caribbean for the casting special!

9:02 Yo, should I keep up the live blogging with Gossip Girl?

9:00 I'm so excited about how Heather's disability—that facilitates social awkwardness— is going to affect the house next week (and hopefully in weeks to come).

8:57 I can't believe no one fell on this water runway.

8:54 Did you hear that noise that the Jays made about that girl's face? Bitches.

8:45 Glad to hear Jaslene still has deaf voice.

8:42 Heather took a beautiful shot! That's it: Heather FTW.

8:37 Which bitch are you: Fun Bitch or Bitchy Bitch? I'm thinking I'm a combo bitch.

8:34 You wanna laugh on commercial break? Check out this gallery of animated gifs from Rich.

8:31 Tyra only has that ONE same kid picture that she shows to demonstrate her awkward stage. So basically she only had one awkward day...well, until her career in television.

8:29 What do you guys think of jeans for leg warmers?

8:26 Tyra is getting poor Marvita to talk about her rape and molestation, and we already know that she doesn't make it to the house. Whoa, tits ahoy! she's got major boobage.

8:20 Janet is a waxer for a living. Jay Manuel should be a cakewalk for her, seeing as how she deals with assholes on a daily basis.

8:18 Ooh, a T-Zone alum.

8:16 I just screamed at the top of my lungs. Heather totally has Assburger's syndrome! I knew a kid in college with that and he walked weird, too! She is so my fave times 10.

8:15 Heather = instant fave!

8:14 Interpretive walking: the new art form. Next bathroom break, Imma walk like a butterfly over to the can.

8:11 OMG! OK, Tyra is doing a cabaret/showgirl-y performance. Seriously, Paris Is Burning, and I'm loving the heat.

8:07 Heather is so clearly awesome! Loving her walk. It gives J. so much to work with.

8:04 Thanks, Marvita! We've just discovered a new reason to enlist in a reality show: homelessness. She said she just wants to live in a house.

8:01 This is already off to a great start. Tyra just told someone to runway back over to the phone. And the girls are already confused about which gender they are to use regarding J. Alexander. LOVE!