• By Dodai
    Sep 13, 2007 9:00 AM 0
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    #britneyspears

    This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate

    Courtney Claims Britney's Been Molested; Rihanna Refused Therapy

    New Moon Breaks Records; Amy Proposes To Blake
    read more: #dirtbag, #britneyspears, #carmenelectra, #charlizetheron, #christinaaguilera, #demimoore, #foxybrown, #heathledger, #jamesfrey, #jenniferlopez, #naomicampbell, #petedoherty, #simoncowell, #justinlong, #llcoolj, #stuarttownsend

    Heath Ledger: Very Single And Looking To Mingle

    • Heath Ledger: continuing his "Michelle who?" tour by being seen making out with model Helena Christensen. [Page Six]
    • Heath was also seen getting the digits of a "waifish 6 ft blond" who was David Blaine's date. [Rush & Molloy]
    • Stuart Townsend on Charlize Theron: "There's no big official story on a wedding, but we are married. ... I consider her my wife and she considers me her husband." [People]
    • Britney Spears and Kevin Federline met at her lawyer's office yesterday — Jayden's first birthday and five days before they're due in family court. Britney was to end the "public debacle" but Kevin "needs more money." Sigh. [People]
    • Even wildlife live in fear of Naomi Campbell: She has plans to open a five-star casino and hotel on the Indian Ocean — which marine experts say will have a negative effect on the sea turtle population. [Page Six]
    • Bouncers "escorted" James Garfunkel, the "skinny" 16-year-old son of Art Garfunkel, out of the fashion week tents right before the Anna Sui show for reasons no one seems to know. [Page Six]
    • Viggo Mortensen fans should be sure to check out his new flick Eastern Promises, in which he is naked in a steam room for ten minutes while fighting off knife-wielding killers. [Page Six]
    • Carmen Electra "performed" at a 2(x)ist fashion week show, but only one person was allowed to take pictures: Her manager's brother (who is a photographer). Makes sense. [Gatecrasher]
    • Justin "Hi, I'm a Mac" Long: Seen drunk and spilling stuff on himself, yawn. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
    • You've hear this before, but a source at Diddy's party — 12 hours before the show — says Britney Spears was so drunk "she couldn't stand." [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]
    • Blind item! "Which white-hot young actor had to be asked by a Los Angeles nightclub manager to at least take his cocaine to the bathroom if he was going to do it in the middle of the club?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
    • LL Cool J thinks Kid Rock and Tommy Lee should brawl on pay-per-view. We'd watch. [Rush & Molloy ]
    • Simon Cowell thinks Britney Spears can "turn it around." [TMZ]
    • Foxy Brown, despite what she told the New York Post, is not pregnant. [TMZ]
    • Christina Aguilera is pregnant, but you already knew that. [OK!]
    • Is Jennifer Lopez pregnant? [The Sun]
    • Pete Doherty, football team manager? [TheSun]


    Send an email to Dodai, the author of this post, at dodai@jezebel.com.