A man named Demitrios Kargotis is our new hero, because, according to BoingBoing, he invented something called "Mr. Whippy." It's a self-serve frozen custard machine that doles out portions based on a voice-stress analysis system. In other words, the sadder you are, the more ice cream you get. We're prepared to fake it if we have to, sob! [BoingBoing]