It's More To Love Britney, Bitch!

The Associated Press says that the "consensus is" Britney looked like a beached whale flopping around on a deserted beach at Sunday's VMAs. That is not the consensus, because no one asked us what we thought of her body, but don't worry, we're going to tell you. The woman has had two babies, a stint in rehab, and a divorce in the last two years, which most people would take as an excuse to gain 100 lbs., not, like, 10. Some say that if she wasn't in tip-top shape she shouldn't be performing in such a revealing get-up, but people, this is Britney Spears, she of the all denim ensembles and bedazzled mesh — expecting her to show up in a cardigan and calico skirt is like demanding that Bjork appear at the Oscars in anything other than a gigantic swan dress.

So Britney had a little "Gimme More" of her own, but that literally was the least of her problems during the performance, in which she writhed nonchalantly like a pacifier-sucker on ketamine at a San Francisco rave (Been there, done that, and it was actually kind of awesome?). That said, her new song is already in the Top 40, so Brit's "paunch" may be jiggling its way to the bank one more time.
Britney Was Bad, Yes. But Fat? [CNN]